Forgive but cannot forget
by lazygirlabc
Summary: Natsu hurt Lucy when he left, a year away from everyone hurt her, and more than she lets on. Now she is on the 100-year quest with her team. But soon finds herself confused on what her situation is. She knows how to solve her problems but will Natsu let her do it alone. a tale of finding yourself in the least suspected moment. *This is not an antie Natsu story, I love him, lol*
1. lets get away from here

**Hello, I'm re-writing this story because... I felt a little out of control and decided to get pull myself together and stop worrying. most of this is the same a few changes that will be important but nothing in particular, hell, maybe ill rewrite it again. I haven't finished the story and have actually forgotten what I was planning on doing with it. a classic problem with me, lol. anyway, I do hope you enjoy.**

It was a beautiful night, the way the stars lit up the sky like glimmering crystals, the way it was not too cold, but the crisp fresh air still nipped at Lucy's pale soft skin, the way the trees swayed in sync with the wind. Somehow in her life with her Father, having everyone try and show her the perfect picture, view or whatever, this came on top of it all, a simple starry night.

She sighed, tilting her head forward and letting the blond hair fall over her shoulder, Natsu and the others were asleep, it felt like only this morning she had woken up slightly hungover, crying her eyes out like a baby that she was happy to have met her dragonslayer friend and his blue companion. It had felt like only this morning she had been stupid enough to think he would kiss her.

Tears brimmed her eyes, 'Lucy you idiot don't you remember he left you, he wouldn't have left you if he loved you'. The blond shook her head 'he doesn't need to love me, all that matters is we are together, we will always be together'. This time she nodded reassuringly, pushing away the last of her doubt.

"Maybe I should try to find someone who actually wants to kiss me." she thought aloud while laying down onto the slightly damp grass, cringing as she remembered she would be cold when she went to bed.

"Is my future wife thinking about cheating on me" a smug smile graced the celestial spirits face but, in his eyes, he looked concerned for his dearest friend.

Lucy looked up, turning her head slightly as she saw a familiar face walking towards her "Loke, we talked about this…" and indeed they had, Lucy had told him multiple times that she was not his wife, but it usually ended in some sort of whining from Loke.

The spirit put his hands up in a mock surrender "ok, ok, I got it princess" and he smiled again before sitting next to her, on the cold grass. Surprisingly, he seemed unfazed by how damp it was only focusing on the starry sky before him.

"I remember when we first met, I mean before I knew you were a spirit," a smile graced her soft lips before she continued "you tried to do one of your lame pickup lines-"

"Hey, my pickup lines are not lame! I was a ladies man before you." he pouted playfully, causing Lucy to crack a smile.

"Sure, whatever you say. Anyway, after a while you found out I was a celestial spirit mage you bolted, I remember being so upset. Thinking I had done something wrong, that slowly the others would leave too."

"Oh, Lucy…" Loke began, his eyes softening, but Lucy cut him off.

"But then you saved me, and once again my mind was trying to find out why you couldn't just tell me what was so bad about me." She looked him in the eyes, it clearly pained him to hear her say how he had once made her so sad. "And I remember being so worried about you when you went missing, I didn't know why. You had done nothing for me…Well, you had saved me once, but other than that I thought you hated me, and yet somehow I just couldn't bring myself to leave you" Loke couldn't think to say anything so he hugged her as they sat and watched the stars.

"And that why I am glad to have you as the holder of my key, because even to people who seem horrible you never lose hope, your heart is so big even in this cruel world. And I'm sorry, I still haven't forgiven myself for being such a jerk to you when we first met" he hung his head low in shame, it was true the memories of how he'd acted did haunt him.

Her eyes softened to a look of sympathy, "Loke, I didn't mean it like that, I forgave you years ago" she smiled at him, one of her comforting smiles.

"It doesn't change the fact I was" he sighed, looking truly sorry in his eyes, it had been too long since they talked like this.

Silence hung among them, both wondering what to say but at the same time content with staying quite, Lucy bit her lip, should she tell him? He was her spirit after all, she needed to tell someone and it's not like she could tell the others…"I don't think I want to do this quest anymore" she blurted out, Loke stared at her, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

After a second the boy managed to compose himself again before speaking, "ok…can, can I at least know why?" the concern in his eyes was back and his voice sounded slightly strained.

"It's complicated." but the look he gave her made the mage know she needed to elaborate. "I just, I don't know. I need some time off this whole thing. When Natsu left it felt like part of my life did too. The guild fell apart…literally. And I want out for a while, I had a year of longing, crying and misery you would think I was so happy to be back, but I don't think I can be back without Natsu realising how he hurt me."

Loke's eyes went wide again, Lucy had talked about feeling a little down before when the guild was actually apart, but this…never had he imagined it, he understood, but a grudge on Natsu was going to be held if not by Lucy by him.

"If that's what you want Lucy, then sure" he looked away, not bearing to see his master so vulnerable.

"I don't want to, I need to, part of me wants to stay to forget it ever happened. But I can't, Loke, it's strange. I've forgiven him so why do I have these lingering feeling of…sadness, betrayal." Loke opened his mouth to answer but Lucy interrupted him by gently slapping her thing "now let's get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a draining day" she went to get up but Loke held onto her wrist, keeping her from leaving.

"Lucy if this is what you want then…I hate to say it, but you should probably leave tonight, Natsu would never let you leave again" the sympathy gone from his eyes, he was dead serious. If his mistress wanted to leave he was going to help her make it as easy as possible.

A sorrow smile pulled at her lips, he was right, Natsu probably wouldn't. It had to be tonight, now or never. "Well then I better start parking"

It was roughly 1 AM when she had finished packing, a letter in her hand 'the same way he did it' she laughed bitterly at the thought. _'At least I wrote more…_ ' no she didn't need to justify her actions it was her life.

And off she went, through the green fields as far away as possible, her heart aching all the time at the thought of Natsu waking up the way she did, with a lousy note.

The sun leaked through the cracks of the white puffy clouds when she had deemed herself untraceable, now all she had to do was find out where exactly she was.

But then she stopped _'does it really matter? It's not like I have an actual destination planned'_ reassuring herself the celestial blond walked over to an inn called 'Starry Night', this was the perfect place for her.

She walked into the painted yellow inn and found she was blasted by a wave of heat, as she waddled over to the front desk she found herself eye to eye with a familiar face, "Jamie?!"

' _Oh my god'_ , she hadn't seen him in what felt like years, in truth she had only met him when Natsu left, he had been working at the same newspaper company she had, and they became friends for a while before they both left to continue their adventures.

"Lucy? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in ages!" he hadn't changed, his brown hair in a messy quiff, big blue eyes and throwback clothes, finally someone who wasn't complicated…

"Jamie, it's so good to see you!" she hugged him over the counter before looking him over again.

"You too, Lucy, it's been too long." A cheeriness in his voice seemed to make her forget all her troubles. "So, what are you doing here? I thought fairy tail was back together, and the war is over, so seriously, what are you doing?" now he looked curious, a hit of concern laced his voice, but his smile stayed planted on his face.

"Long story short, I'm taking a break from the guild. Now before I answer any more questions are there any available rooms?" Lucy kept her voice sweet and chipper, she had had too many years of practice and try as Natsu might she could never really drop the habit even if she pretended to have had years ago.

"Oh sure, room 14. I'll help you with your bags" she reached out her purse but was stopped by Jamie, "don't worry it's on the house, you are probably tight on money anyway". She wanted to resist, tell him she was financially stable but she couldn't, so the girl nodded weakly and followed him to her room.

It was a nice room, yellow to match the inns outside, a few bits of furniture that all seemed to match, in a dark oak wood style. She flopped on the bed completely forgetting about Jamie until his voice came out in stifled laughter "I guess I can wait until tomorrow for an explanation, you seem exhausted." Lucy hummed in response, before finally drifting off to sleep.

 **so what do you all think? I've said it before and I'll say it again this is not an antie nalu story, I love them they are my otp, I am simply saying no matter who the person is if they leave you for a year your gonna be hurt, whether you blame them or not. Lucy partly blames Natsu but has forgiven him and now thinks these are her feeling and instead of crying about it forever she wants to do something about it.**

 **Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there in a non-aggressive way! people review my story I LOVE feedback unless it's about how wrong I am to think Lucy wants to solve her problems.**

 **ooooOOOooo I have some news as well! I accidentally deleted my Tumblr my new one is called 'a-star-gazing-mage' i might change this name to that I haven't decided yet! You can go follow me *little self-advertisement for my blog* hope to see you guys soon!**


	2. The familiar goodbye

**I'm alive! Shocking, I know, with the lack of updates. But here I am. i will not be updateing anytime soon because its gonna be exame week soon...** Natsu woke up, still slightly dazed, a drowsiness loomed over him as he got out of bed, one hand rubbing his messy pink locks. He would deal with them later, Lucy or Erza would defiantly nag him about it when they saw him. Natsu looked around for his sandals, he had a rather large white tent with red lace at the corners, something Levy had been kind enough to add to his tent after Juvia had mixed his and Grey's up once, eventually spotting them by his bag. The boy fumbled a bit while putting them on, he was clearly still sleepy, eventually, as he walked to exit his room he heard the crumple of paper, something that was not there before was underneath his foot, when the Dragonslayer removed his foot he found a small letter. No wax seal, just a flimsy bit of paper in a slightly wrapped envelope. Natsu, without hesitation, began to read the small letter. _Dear Natsu,_ _I'm sorry, I just can't do it, I can't pretend everything is ok. Because it's not._ _And since you left, all that time ago, I've felt hollow, broken, not even writing changed that, I could never fully feel an emotion, like I got to fifty percent and stopped. Never quite filling the bar._ _And then you came back with that smile, acting as if nothing was wrong, as if it had been two days, Natsu… It had been a year. In that year I remembered how lonely I had been, you promised me I wouldn't be alone but then you went and left me._ _And I know you didn't mean it to hurt me. But it did, you did._ _I do not hate you, Nats. I don't think I could if I tried, and I certainly do not wish any harm to come your way while you are on the 100 year quest. I just…_ _Ugh, this letter is so crappy…My worst piece of work. A ten-year-old would be better. I'm not good at explaining my emotions, and for a while I let them loose, like birds in the sky, that was when I first met all of you, like you said too, but, I don't know I just can't handle seeming so weak, the words my father said stuck 'only the weak show emotion'._ _We are different, emotions make you strong while they make me weak._ _One day I will see you again, but not for a long time. You had your year away by choice, I didn't, it was forced upon me. Now it's my turn to be free and actually, want it. I'm sorry Natsu, truly, but this is for the best._ _Yes, I might die, I might be kidnapped, I might get lost, but I need to do this. Even if I die trying to… I'm fairy tail mage after all, we don't go down easy!_ _From your best friend,_ _Luce._ _P.S_ _I'll miss you, Natsu. More than you think._ Natsu was speechless, thoughtless. His mind had gone blank. It couldn't be true, it wasn't true. She wouldn't do this, Luce couldn't do this. Her reasons…he couldn't believe them. He wasn't going to believe them until Lucy said them to his face. But still her words floated around his mind. The suns light hit the pink haired boy's eyes, but right now was not the time to be worrying about the slight annoyance, he decided as he stomped over to Lucy's tent, fear in every step, a new worry adding to his ever-growing list with eath second going by. The latter hesitated before he pulled the entrance flap aside, her sent was already fading, giving him the realisation that he would be finding nothing in this tent, and it hit him like a brick wall when he saw her bag gone, she was actually gone. "ERZA, JUVIA, WENDY, HAPPY, GRAY get over here, Lucy left" Natsu had used all his strength to make his voice stable, heard, dropping to his knees, despite the full night of sleep he was exhausted. "W…what do… what do you mean by left" Gray panted, Natsu could tell he had just woken up from how his hair stuck up at all angles and how he was out of breath from such a small run. The worried boy said nothing, instead, he handed the now slightly creased letter to the ice mage. Gray raised a brow but said nothing and read the letter. By the end, his mouth was hanging open in shock. His only words being the soft whisper of "oh Lucy" The boy looked over at Natsu, who had now stood up shakily again, wanting to blame the disappearance of their friend on him but couldn't, Lucy had chosen to leave them, yes, to do with past that happened to include them. But he knew Lucy was thinking of purely what she fealt not who caused her to feel these things. He also blamed himself a little, he had also left her alone after all. Erza and Juvia came next, stumbling over to Natsu and Gray, faces filled with concern. Before even being able to ask what was going on Gray handed the pair the creased paper. Each greedily read the letter from their dear friend before giving Natsu a look of sympathy, Juvia glanced at Gray as if to ask if she should be mad, Gray shook his head solemnly, Natsu was going through a lot right now, he cared so much for Lucy that he didn't think any of them should be mad at him. Although he wouldn't blame her if she did. Wendy came over rubbing her eyes, intercepting glances of sympathy directed at Natsu. "Why are all at Lucy's tent, and why didn't anyone tell me?" she continued rubbing her eyes looking blankly at all of them before Juvia only passed her the note that would explain. The little girl's eyes widened "b…but we are a team…Lucy wouldn't just leave" a few tears slipped down the little girl's cheek but she paid no notice, only staring at Natsu with a look of not only sympathy but her own guilt. She had left too after all. Natsu couldn't look any of them in the eyes, his whole body felt numb, he needed something, an emotion to grasp at and use to fuel him. Lucy was right, his emotions made him strong. But they made her so strong as well. He needed to find her. "We will talk this over at breakfast for now I suggest we get changed, it will give each of us some time to think" Erza, as usual, decided what they should do, and everyone was too tired and nervous to disagree. The group departed to each tent while the older blue haired mage made breakfast for the team.

* * *

"So, what do we do?" Natsu questioned, not touching his food. "I mean it's obvious we look for her, but I'm more concerned about her reasons for leaving. She's mad at me, I… hurt her and she waited until it was too late to tell me" he looked down at his plate a frown placed over his lips, but if you looked deeper you could see the fear in his eyes. "Natsu, I hate to say it, but this was Lucy's choice. We can't force her to come back" Erza wouldn't meet the Dragonslayer's eyes, too ashamed of her own words. "What?!" Natsu banged his fist on the log he was sitting on "she could be in danger right now for all I know, she said she was _broken_ , I can't let go away like that" he looked around seeing the pitiful looks everyone was giving him, Natsu was surprised by the lack of Happy but sighed again when he remembered telling him that Lucy had run away, the cat had never looked so sad. It was obvious he wanted to be alone. "Natsu, we need to let her do this," he heard Gray almost plead with him "she needs to find out for herself what she wants to do, she is not a little kid, she can look after herself." Part of Natsu knew this. Dammit, he knew it so well. But this was bigger than that. He needed to keep her safe. "What if it was Juvia out there" Natsu waved his hand at the water mage "what if she had up and left, would you let her?" Natsu looked Gray in the eye seeing that Gray was annoyed, enraged, by the comment. Somehow the ice mage had let the comment slide "Natsu, I know how you feel, but I think it's for the best" Natsu banged his fist on the old log again, this time causing some of the bark to crack. "Gray, remember when I thought she had died, remember when I saw her motionless body on the ground? The same happened to you and Juvia right? I promised myself when I found out she was ok that I would never let her into harm's way again, I would never let her die if I could stop it. I don't want to, I have to." And with that, he walked into his tent ignoring the sleeping Happy, and grabbed his bag. If they wouldn't help, then he would go alone. "Natsu, I want to bring her back just as much as you do but we have to let her do this." Gray started again, Natsu just walked away, he was so hot with anger and rage any of Gray's ice attack melted before they even touched him, never had he been this powerful. **So, no Lucy this chapter. Funny I thought I'd added her here? See what happens when you edit stuff. Anyway, what do you guy's think about the others not following her? I couldn't decide on whether to have them all come or let her discover herself. This story is about Natsu and Lucy so I wanted to have a way to get them out of the picture. You know, I was planning on having this story finished by now, I started it before Christmas! Thats crazy.** **Anyone else hyped for Nalu angst week! I am. I might participate, depending on if I actually write anything good.. so far we've had no luck with that. anyway, I've edited chapter three so that is coming soon!** **Next chapter is in mainly lucys perspective, please review I love feedback.**


	3. He's a flirt!

The fire welder swatted at the long blades of grass that blocked his path. How did Lucy get through this without leaving a trace?

As he walked his once bubbling over the brim anger became no more, now all the emotion he had left was plain and simple concern. Her scent was fading. The smell of vanilla and strawberries was being replaced with dried dirt and grass, he was either going in the wrong direction or the wind had blown her sent away, like a paper bag drifting into the wind.

So, he walked, no, marched.

The boy marched, fire pulsing through his veins, how could they? How could they just abandon her like that, just let her go?

No, it didn't matter what they were doing, he was going to save her, he was going to bring her back.

"Dammit" Natsu cursed aloud, ripping at his hair in frustration, he was getting nowhere and every second he wasn't moving was a second further away Lucy was from him.

Out of instinct, or maybe just frustration, he began once again stomping forward, crushing the grass under his bulky brown sandals, picking up the pace with every step, thoughts of Lucy being trapped or even dyeing, filled his already hectic mind. Natsu's eyes went wide for a second a glint of sadness, fear flashed over them as quick as lightning, ' _she is fine, Lucy is strong, she has to be fine'_ the Dragonslayer reassured himself, because that was all he could tell himself at that moment, all he could do was pray she was fine. And although the reassuring thoughts came piling, in his walk turned into a full speed run, he ran until his legs could not carry him any further, hitting the ground with a thud. Slowly the world around him darkened, his last thought before the world around him turned black was the task he had set himself almost a day before 'I _need to find Lucy'_.

Meanwhile at the inn...

Now that the celestial mage had gotten her much needed rest she was able to get a better look at her room.

It looked better than it had last night...

The yellow wallpaper had the outline of roses that gave the effect of them clinging to the wall, the oak wood brown furniture was, in fact, beautiful, the marble-like gloss shone under the morning light that seeped through the curtains. And the curtains! The silky beige fabric with glittering gold stencil of roses was enough to make her stop in her tracks just to admire at them.

She would have to thank Jamie later.

Speaking of Jamie, what was the boy doing working at an inn? So far away from Crotus none the less.

Her train of thought was pulled to a halt by the loud voices of a woman and her kids walking from their room, the children giggling and teasing each other while the mother was desperately trying to quieten them down. Lucy couldn't help the smile that ghosted over her lip, Levy was going to be having twins soon, well not soon but she would be having twins in a couple of months. Looking at the time Lucy realised how much she had overslept, it was 11 am! after another quick glance around the room the blond soon found her bags by the side of her bed and decided now was the time to get ready for the day, she had a lot she wanted to do.

After showering, changing and adding a tiny bit of makeup Lucy deemed herself ready to face whatever was to come her way, even though today she did not believe in the slightest that anything out of ordinary would be happening, being part of fairy tail taught her to always be prepared. And anyway, she didn't really know what she was going to be calling normal anymore.

Soon, Lucy was almost skipping out of her golden sunshine of a room with only her notebook, a pen, and some money for breakfast, which probably wasn't going to be that much judging by the few jewels that were in her purse.

"Lucy~, you're finally awake!" the blond didn't need to turn her head to know the familiar deep voice was Jamie's, just from his greeting she could feel the smile in his voice.

"Hello again" the celestial mage responded, as cheerily as she could muster, her smile wider than ever as she waved at her somewhat old friend, hoping to skip the small talk and get straight to the point of what he was doing here.

It seemed like Jamie had had the same idea, "so, Lucy, you told me yesterday that I would get answers today, so spill, what are you doing?" judging by his outfit today he was serving people food, his white apron tied around his waist while his left hand was preoccupied with a tray.

"I'm not giving answers till you give me some, what are you doing here? Oh, and also can we have something to eat, I'm starving!" dramatically hugging her stomach to prove her point.

A genuine smile began to spread across Jamie's face as he nodded mumbling something about being back in five before walking off to the double doors labelled staff.

Lucy slumped herself into the empty seat placing her notebook down as she did so, if the girl were totally honest she didn't want to tell Jamie everything that was going on, feeling like she had already placed enough of her worries on his shoulders. When Lucy's vision unhazed from the preoccupying thoughts she saw... ginger, "Loke?" she thought aloud.

And there he was staring at her from across the table. "Hello princess" he gave her a lopsided grin, his chin resting on the palm of his hand while sitting on the opposite side of the small dining table.

"Loke! What...why are you- I didn't summon you" the confused girl stammered, too surprised for words.

"I came on my own, I thought you would be used to it by now" he leaned in placing his elbow on the table in front of him, smirking again "but I guess you had forgotten about me as soon as you saw your boyfriend, over there" the smile on his face faded, his tone slightly irked, if you looked close enough there was an almost flame like light behind his hazel eyes. "Honestly, I'm offended, I feel betrayed" he put a hand to his head fanning himself with the other, in an attempted mockery of someone...fainting? Deeply offended? Lucy wasn't quite sure.

"No, I was just shocked to see you. Do you have a reason for showing your face-"

"Handsome face, I don't want anyone to be confused" the celestial spirit corrected, waving his index finger in front of her face, a smirk beginning to pull at his face again, but to Lucy it seemed almost forced, not the same confidence that there was normally, but the sort of stiff style he used when not wanting to talk about something that needed to be talked about.

Lucy rolled her eyes before pushing his finger from her gaze "do you need something or what?" the blond was trying to sound like she did not know something was wrong, wanting her friend to tell her. Trying to sound unamused by his sudden appearance but, as always, found it rather amusing.

"Just wanted to see you," he grinned "and talk about him" the ginger boy tilted his head but toward the door labelled staff "I don't like him" all traces of his grin had evaporated into thin air, leaving her with a frowning lion king.

It took Lucy a second to register what Loke was saying, "Jamie?"

It was Loke's turn to roll his eyes "no, the dude at the bar, his moustache looks weird, yes Jamie!"

Lucy decided to let slide the excessive sarcasm he was using, it's not like she was perfect when it came to her sarcasm crossing the line.

"What is it about him that's so bad again?" Lucy remembered the tension that had always been between the pair of them but had never quite known what the problem was.

"I don't like him, he is too nice to you, ever since day one you guys got along too well. I don't trust him, besides why is he always flirting with you? I mean seriously, can't he have an actual conversation with you without flirting?" Loke folded his arms and looked to the side.

Lucy was positive Jamie had not been flirting with her and knew very well that they had not gotten along 'since day one' as Loke had said. On day one they had been trying to kill each other; teasing each other for the little things.

Eventually they both excepted each other, and a friendship was born...Of course, the teasing continued.

Jamie used to tease Lucy for her hard-working attitude, while she teased him for his undeniably bad fashion sense. This all happened when they were working for a newspaper company, that his parents owned back when the guild had been disbanded. Although, she had to say, he was improving with his colours completing each other.

"Loke, I'm pretty positive Jamie has not been flirting with me, also all you ever do is flirt, so I'm sorry, but I think you are being a hypocrite."

Loke scoffed, leaning further back in his seat than she thought possible, "I don't like him ok, and look at him, why would you want to date him, he is far too friendly looking"

It dawned on Lucy why her lion king constellation had never liked her brown-haired buddy "Loke, I don't think that's an insult and who said anything about us dating, we are just friends" she grabbed his hand but the spirit looked away, not wanting to meet his mistresses eyes "Loke" he hesitated before meeting her eyes " I promise, we are just friends" Loke nodded slowly not seeming quite convinced, but enough to stop questioning her about it.

"Well Princess I think I'm going to stay with you for a while, it's pretty boring in the spirit realm at the moment" he sat up again his confidence booming once more, but something about his words were not quite convincing.

A few minutes passed before her brown-haired friend reunited with them, this time holding what looked like pancakes in his right hand.

"Hello again," Lucy said cheerfully, trying her best to rid everyone of the negative atmosphere that surrounded Loke and Jamie, the two had never got along and judging by how things were going they never would. Even if she had just rid Loke of the reason he hated Jamie so much.

"Hello, Lucy" he smiled before looking over at Loke, who now had his feet on the table and was inspecting his nails as if not interested in whatever was going on, "Loke" he nodded in a less friendly tone he had given Lucy.

"Hmmm" Loke responded not bothering to look up from his surprisingly nice nails.

Jamie raised a brow "do you let all your spirits treat people with such rude manners?" his question causing both Lucy and Loke to glare at him.

Lucy cleared her throat before speaking, noticing it was slightly raw from thirst " I cannot force them to treat people with respect, you wouldn't force your friends so I'm not going to force mine, if it's an apology you are after then I'm sorry for Loke's manners but don't choose to treat him as less because he is a spirit" the girls tone soft but firm, to Lucy's advantage the lack of water made her sound older, -which if she was totally honest she rather liked compared to her usually high pitched voice-. Jamie glanced over the pair of them, Loke smirking as if he had just won an unspoken battle.

"Right sorry" was all the slightly embarrassed man could think to say, what he had intended to be a jab at Loke had ended up offending Lucy.

Before Jamie could even set down the pancakes Loke began to stretch, "right, well, I think I'm going to head back to the spirit realm. See you later princess" and with that, a flash of white light appeared, and the boy was gone.

"Sorry about that Jamie, Loke may not show it but he can get a little jealous, but deep down he knows that there is no need to be" the girl sighed, wishing the pair would just get along for her sake.

The boy before her merely chuckled, "oh he shows it alright," he tilted his head as if to show that he was thinking before continuing to speak "I think it's nice that your spirits are so protective of you, Loke especially...uhhhh, don't tell Loke I said that" the boy fretted, a pink tinge coating his cheeks from embarrassment.

"Ok, ok I won't" the celestial mage promised, attempting to get the long golden strands out of her pale, pretty, face, "yeah, Loke is quite unique, but we've been through a lot to get to this point" she couldn't meet Jamie's eyes that time, memories of losing Aquarius, crying with Loke by her side, comforting her. Memories of him almost dying in her pale, feeble arms, memories of when everything was more but at the same time less complicated.

"I suppose you have" Jamie almost said to himself in a sort of daydreamer style, a faraway look in his eyes as if lost in his thoughts.

Lucy decided now was a good time to eat the large pile of pancakes in front of her, savouring each chocolaty mouthful, 'Juvia's cooking was nice and all but with the limited food we had, nothing was quite as satisfying' Lucy thought, remembering the time they had tried to make curry but it being a bit too bland for her or Natsu's liking. While she was enjoying her breakfast, she found herself occasionally glancing at Jamie, checking that he was alright in his own little world.

When Lucy had finally managed to consume the large stack of delicious pancakes, she deemed it the right time to snap her friend out of his daze, her thirst had grown, and some water was much needed. "Jamie" she mumbled shaking his arm lightly, when he did not respond her light shake became almost the opposite.

"W-what, I'm awake" he jumped up looking left and right before his eyes found Lucy, who at this stage was trying to stifle her laughter from his rather obscure awaking from 'dreamland' as her mother used to call it.

Lucy hesitated before asking him her question, 'maybe I should have let him sleep', after deciding she might as well ask him since she had already woken him up, the girl straightened up to ask her question, feeling her throat crack from being so dry "do you think I could get a glass of water?"

It took Jamie a moment to register what the blond had asked before he started nodding "Yep, one glass of water coming up!"

Lucy was about to protest and say she would get it but then realised she had no idea where the water was, and that Jamie had already gotten halfway across the room.

The finger that she had subconsciously rose to contradict herself began to deflate. Settling to gather her thoughts and maybe a slight plan of what she was going to do for her accommodation.

Lucy cringed, this place was awesome and if she could she would stay here forever. But riding off Jamie's kindness was not something her moral compass could take, besides if Natsu was looking for her she would have to keep moving unless she wanted to get caught. The girl's heart clenched, part of her wanted to forget about finding Aquarius on her own, to let the others find her and take her back home but her other half, the bigger half, knew she needed to do this alone. For the sake of her friendship.

As if he had waited for her thought to finish Jamie came strolling over to the table a big glass of water in his hand and a clear glass jug in his other, slightly fogged up from the stuffy atmosphere that had filled the room.

His blue eyes flickered to her brown ones but just as quickly left before he cleared his throat, "so I want you to tell me what the hell are you doing here and not on that 10 years quest thing" Lucy noticed the tinge of concern that laced his voice, she also noticed the way he tried to cover it up by raising his voice slightly.

"Well I suppose I have to tell you now don't I, a promise is a promise" she sighed while Jamie nodded for her to continue, not seeming to notice the discomfort she felt. "You know the story, I was a lonely kid, no friends and my Father was a cold-hearted man, when I ran away Natsu took me to Fairy Tail, gave me a family," the blond smiled at the thought of the day Natsu met her warm memories flooding her mind, she then remembered that she was supposed to be talking to Jamie, her face fell quickly as she continued her explanation.

"Natsu promised I would never be lonely, but was the first to up and leave, when the guild disbanded I was left alone, and suddenly I was a little girl living the life I had thought I'd finally ran away from, and it's hilarious!" her smile was pained this time, wanting to be strong but she wasn't quite sure she could be any more,

"Hilarious because I had freedom that time, I could do or say what I wanted. But as a child, well, anything that played a part of my life was controlled by my Father." Lucy smiled once more, a faraway look in her usually warm, brown eyes. "I guess the idea of having a family grew on me, but it...Fairy Tail, just disappeared a day later. The first time it was gradual, Father got meaner and meaner, stricter and stricter," she paused, thinking of how to phrase her next statement "But this time, the time with Fairy Tail, it was as quick as a bolt of lightning, and it stung like one too."

The celestial mage's eyes got that all too familiar burning feeling, she took a deep breath, not wanting to cry in front of Jamie. "When Natsu was at the grand magic games, making an entrance as expected of him. Chargin' in there, fists ablaze, I remember all my madness just evaporated, he had come back. Saving me from another nightmare. And for a while, I was happy again, but then after a few weeks it was, is like I'm not really living, just watching a movie, the emotions left me again. And I tried, really, I tried so hard to be happy, but something felt wrong, this went on for...Well, it hasn't stopped, I'm not me anymore, I need this to find Aquarius and I need to get myself together, this is the only way I can do it. I'm leaving for a year, but this time it's by my choice, and nobody else" when Lucy stopped speaking she realised just how mad she was, anger was bubbling in her mind, everyone left her and now she was picking up the pieces of her life that they left behind.

Jamie stayed silent for a moment, allowing Lucy to collect herself again, "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint but I came to work here because I wanted to be independent and not rely on my parent's newspaper company, I guess my reasoning is not quite as deep as yours" he smiled, somehow in all the chaos Lucy had just placed on his shoulder he was smiling, making jokes even. Maybe that's what she liked about him?

Lucy giggled at his reasoning "you never liked that damn newspaper company, did you?"

He shook his head as to say no, "it was never my thing, but it was totally yours." The girl before him merely laughed, yes, writing was her thing, she had written a book that was so good it had become a best seller. "Lucy?" Jamie questioned, his voice gone from casual to serious at the snap of a raised a brow, confused why he was randomly serious.

"Yes?"

Jamie fumbled with his hands as if they were putting the words together for him "c-ca-can I come, on your adventure I mean." Lucy's bewildered look made him know he had to elaborate "I want to have an adventure, and we get along, so you wouldn't be lonely..." he looked up at her big brown eyes, only to see them filled with... guilt?

The blond didn't look at him, couldn't look at him, as she began to speak "I'm sorry Jamie, really sorry, I just... I don't know, I'm sorry but this is something I have to do alone. That year, well I'll have my spirits but other than them I really need to do this independently, I I met you, and we had fun sometimes. Honestly, I don't really know much about you" a bitter laugh escaped her lips, they both acted as if they'd known each other eyes but would stutter on each other's favourite colour. "I should have done so much with that year, instead I was crying about everything…have to find Aquarius alone, I don't want to be the weak one any more" her strong but somehow pitiful and soft gaze laid over him, tensely waiting for his reaction.

Jamie nodded, a smile, that showed his slightly twisted front teeth, was a little too wide for his pained looking eyes, "I thought as much" was his only response before changing topic. Jamie had always tried to appear as a completely straight forward person. As if he was not al all complicated. Everyone was a little compacted tough…"Anyway, so where will you be going?" Lucy's pitiful eyes fell upon him once again, his voice was just too positive for her, it hurt the mage to know that she had hurt one of her friends.

The blond swallowed before answering Jamie's question, wanting her voice to sound relaxed and not pained "wherever the wind takes me". It was sort of the truth she didn't really have a fixed-out plan, but she knew she would get to that eventually

Jamie merely laughed " of course that's something you would do", she furrowed her brows, that was not something she would do, Lucy would usually make a perfect plan, the whole point of this was to not do what she would normally do.

"Well you know me," Lucy said cheerily, giving the boy a radiant, but forced, smile before saying a small "see you later". Now was a good time to pack away her things, deciding she needed to keep moving in case Natsu decided to try and find her, just like she had done when he had left.

20 minutes and a sore back later Lucy had managed to re-organise her stuff, having gotten distracted countless times by her spiral of meaningless thoughts, she only had a few things to pack, it should have taken her 5 minutes, the blond had picked up some extreme procrastination skills from Natsu.

Lucy ignored the twinge of sorrow her heartfelt at the thought of her dragonslayer friend, _'forget about him Lucy, you've got get moving, Natsu can be on your mind later_ ' and with that Lucy found herself struck with determination, picking up all her bags and marching down the low but spacious stairs.

"Goodbye Jamie, thank you so much for letting me crash at the inn, I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am" her straight white teeth beaming at him when she smiled goodbye, this time it being genuine, in fact, she thought she wouldn't be able to stop smiling.

She noticed he was back in his retro jeans, shamelessly allowing them to match his denim jacket. Lucy inwardly cringed before turning away.

"Anytime Lucy, it was nice to see you again" and although the boy knew he should, his face remained smile-less like out of keynote in a song, not fitting in with the happy goodbye she was giving him.

Before the boy had even realised it, Lucy was walking down the street, off to continue her adventure. And adventure he was not lucky enough to go on.


	4. Why do you smell like Lucy!

**Ok, four down three to go then we can start posting new chapters again! I'm sorry, it's taking so long but effort is lacking. Yep, its summer now I have no excuse. So how have you all been?**

The boy had woken from his slumber long ago, with a growling belly and a spinning head he made his way through the grass until a yellow inn could be seen from the distance, it wasn't the fact that his stomach would soon be filled that brought him joy but the fact his dragon slayer nose could smell sweet strawberries vanilla...Lucy had been there.

In either excitement or anticipation, he used his remaining energy to burst into the yellow painted inn, praying to see a sight of Lucy. Out of all the out of all the scents that flooded his strong nose Lucy's stood out like a rose in weeds, he followed his nose until he reached a room with the number '14' in shining gold, without thinking twice he pushed the dark wooden door open, his mind only thinking _'I've found her, she's safe'_.

But when the door slammed open the person in the room was not Lucy but instead a boy with brown hair cleaning...Natsu looked over the startled cleaner could only blink at him in surprise, his mouth hanging open slightly from shock, before snapping himself out of whatever daze he was in and spoke. "Natsu? What are you doing here" alarm bells began to ring off in Natsu's mind, how did this boy know his name? But, more importantly, why was he in the room that smelled of his best friend?

Without even answering the man before him's question Natsu lunged, pinning the pained-looking stranger to an oak brown wardrobe, the dragonslayers fists clenched around his shirt, crinkling the edges of the faded album cover as he snarled "who are you? And why the hell do you smell like Lucy?" no room for this boy to ask questions, in that moment everything about Natsu screamed don't mess with me.

Now when he was looking back on it, Natsu had acted rather harshly.

The boy in front of him's face began to relax, only to have a cocky sly grin replace it. The grin remding him of Grays. This was the gasoline to Natsu's fire, smoke to begin to rise of the cleaner's poor shirt, Natsu didn't notice, unable to control his flames from the fury inside of him.

Panic fell across the mystery man's features again, the boy before him cracked and quickly began to talk, desperate to get the burning hand's away from his shirt "we are friends, I swear! Me and Lucy we know each other" Natsu loosened his grip on the shirt slightly, allowing the boy before him to finally breath again.

Before whoever the mystery so-called friend of Lucy's could relax Natsu let out a growl "who. Are. You?", his voice deeper than anything the man had heard. It took a moment for him to think of what to say hesitating, changing his mind. Every second he wasn't talking Natsu grew hotter, the self-control oozing from Natsu as to not floor the boy. He needed him talking after all. This is who Lucy had run too.

Natsu tightened his grip again "well?" he'd changed his mind, surely someone else could give him answers. "Jamie..." said the boy.

The boy named Jamie got a sudden wave of courage when Natsu's grip loosed again, Jamie was angry now. "My name is Jamie and you're the asshole who made Lucy cry" he looked livid, brown hair messed up, fists clenched into balls of rage, and his eyes darkened as they glared over at Natsu with nothing but hatred, hatred that could beat Natsu's any day.

Jamie clearly wasn't one who usually yelled or fought. Seeming to be the kind who complied with other peoples wishes easily. But the courage was there.

Jamie had expected to be punched, to be left scared and begging for mercy, not the this. Natsu's green eyes softened to the point they almost looked pained, like all the rage from a moment ago converted into his deepest despairs " I know" was all he had to say for himself. But those two words said more than a thousand could.

He began to tremble, face gong red and fists clenched. You could almost hear the snap in his voice as if fighting the urge to cry "I know dammit. I know, I know, I know! I know it's my fault, so please _,_ tell me where she is so-so I can apologize. So that I can make her happy again" Natsu realized in that moment that he couldn't pretend that he was innocent, that all he needed to do was bring Lucy back. He realised just how badly he had hurt Lucy, there was no denying it now and that...that filled him with a self-loathing like no other, nothing he had felt before compared to this " just... just tell me where she is... _please_ " the might dragonslayer was a shaking mess, brought down by the guilt of hurting his best friend.

Jamie only shook his head suddenly wishing to take his words back "I can't, she didn't say where she was going-"

"When did she leave?" he needed to know, maybe...maybe he could find her quickly by finding her scent and following it. He needed anything he could get

Jamie gave the salamander a look Natsu could only describe as pitiful "a few hours ago, I'm pretty sure you won't be able to find her" he was now looking over Natsu, trying to read the mages facial expression. It was the face of a broken man.

Natsu hesitated, it was beginning to look unlikely that he could find her, he shook his head, tossing those thoughts away completely before replying sharply " I can do it!", the temperature in the room began to rise once more as Natsu got more and more frustrated, his emotions making his head spin as he began to walk away. Arms swinging from side to side with every step, just as the he was building up momentum, grabbing at every little a yell came from the other end of the room

"Wait" yelled Jamie, causing Natsu freeze "you don't look like you're in the right condition to go wandering around looking for a girl who doesn't even want to be found!"

Jamie was right, Natsu was not in the right condition. A pounding head clouding his vision with black and green spots, crinkling like an old lacrama tv, a large bulge forming near his eyebrow from when he had passed out and hit his head on the ground, not to mention Natsu was starving and completely filthy. Even if Lucy's sent was still traceable Natsu probably would be too tired to take care of her when she was found. But he wouldn't admit that

"my wellbeing is not important right now" he spat, he was losing his patience again, Jamie was wasting him oh so precious time.

But it looked like Jamie was not going down without a fight "no, I won't! You can't protect her in that state! She would end up looking after you!" he hesitated once more, those were the words Natsu had thought to himself only a few minutes before...

"She does look after me! And I look after her! It's the way it's always been, I don't have time for this! I'm leaving" Natsu was about to storm out when Jamie grabbed his arm. Fantastic.

"Let. Go" if you had thought those two words could not be filled with so much venom them you were dead wrong, Jamie even faltered for a second before tightening his grip and continuing to beg the boy to stay.

"You could end up dying or-"

"I don't care ab-" Natsu began

"Well Lucy does!" the furious Jamie snapped with just as much venom as Natsu had, the pink haired mage wasn't the only one who cared for Lucy "listen, I don't care about you, I'm only helping you because Lucy would blame herself if something were to happen to you. Hell, when you left for a _year_ she spent the whole time wondering what _she_ had done wrong."

Natsu opened his mouth to speak but Jamie silenced him with his finger as he contiued "and don't _dare_ say you left a note, you left her barely a sentence! You didn't even say goodbye! How did you manage to think that that would be a good thing to do, it's hard not to blame yourself when your best friend leaves you like that!"

His eyes went wide. Natsu had regretted his actions a while after he had left but never could bring himself to full on admit it, hoping it would be forgotten, "I-I" he stuttered, desperately trying to say something, anything, to make a difference. He swallowed, trying to by himself time on what to say. For once Natsu believed words could make up for what he had done.

Jamie sighed "look just stay a night, get yourself back up to health, for Lucy" the thick brown quiff was now curling over his forehead while he gave Natsu a pointed look.

Reluctantly Natsu agreed to stay, nodding slowly, this was for Lucy's sake. He couldn't give her anything more to blame herself on. Before Natsu could go any deeper into his thought's he saw Jamie smirking to himself, Natsu's jaw clenched, oh how he hated giving in.

"Here just take the keys to this room, I haven't properly changed the sheets and all but Lucy only stayed one night so I'm sure you'll live" if Natsu didn't know any better he would say Jamie had not washed the sheets on propose to annoy him, but that was impossible, Natsu had run in while he was cleaning. Anyway, Natsu didn't mind, being a dragonslayer meant he picked up traces like scents being so much stronger to him than a regular person, Natsu knew every person had a different scent and Lucy's sent seemed to calm him down, it felt like he was back in her apartment in Fiore.

The cool feeling of the metal on the keys hitting his palm made the boy wince as reality hit him, he was not in Lucy's apartment, the cold never affected him but probably from the fact his magic was so low he was sensing it more "sure, thanks" was all he could say in response.

Jamie nodded to Natsu before exiting the room, leaving him with silence and a sigh he didn't know he was holding in, it had been a long what, two days,? Since Lucy had left and the boy was conflicted _'should I really go after her...Yes, you have too, you can't let her do this...But she let you...And look what happened to her, if we keep this up everything will go to hell...She has no idea how much I missed her, she has no idea why I needed to 'train' for all that time, she has no idea of the hell that's coming... I need to protect her from the future, I need to protect fairy tail'_ and with that, his mind had once again been settled.

A loud thud from outside brought Natsu back into reality, reminding him why he was here -to get better- with a heavy sigh the boy pulled himself into the shower.

With a sharp creek Natsu threw himself onto the bed, letting the pillows and blankets consume him, this was just like back in Fiore, back in Lucy's flat...his second home...back when everything was so much simpler, if only he could tell her the real reason he left, but it wasn't safe to tell her, if he told her he was pretty sure it wasn't only her life on the line but the whole of the celestial spirit world and Fiore. _'it's better that she doesn't know_ '.

 **Please, please, please review you have no idea how much it makes my day. I would say more but I haven't got much to say.**

 **have a nice day!**


	5. deja vu

**I have risen from the dead, just kidding...I'm still dead.**

 **Yeah so I have totally been updating over half term like I said I would...yeah totally.**

 **Sorry, I know I'm a terrible person, don't kill me.**

 **ughhhhh, I have to go to school again. don't get me wrong I'm pro educaton but damn it tiring.**

 **I do not own fairy tail**

"Coffee?" Jamie asked as he pointed an empty paper cup in Natsu's vague direction, whilst filling a paper cup with coffee for a woman who was standing at the counter in what Natsu thought to be a rather ugly brown sweater.

"Nah, Luce will get mad when she finds out, says stuff like I'm already too energetic" when Jamie chuckled at Lucy's classic antics Natsu thought over what he had said, then it hit him. Lucy wasn't here right now. It didn't matter if he drank coffee or not because she wouldn't be there to tell him off.

Wanting to take his mind off the thought of a certain missing blond the boy asked for something to eat, begging for a distraction.

The brown haired guy, who seemed to be serving drinks today, eye's widened with realisation "oh right, you haven't eaten anything yet, god, you must be starving, have anything you want"

It took a while for Jamie to prepare the banquet of a breakfast Natsu had ordered and to Jamie's dismay, the family sized meal was gone in near minutes. chicken, bacon, eggs and other bits of Natsu's breakfast flew everywhere, cleaning this was not going to be fun...

James' eye began to twitch in annoyance, fists clenched he yelled at the boy "watch it Natsu, I'm the one whos going to have to clean this all up you know!" his arms flailing in the air to get the dragon boy's attention

It didn't work...

Finally, the pink haired eating monster began to slow down pulling the flying food to a final halt.

Natsu patted his stomach, satisfied with his meal "thanks, Lucy's friend, your an amazing cook!" the boy grinning wildly at the cook whos face was not as joyous as Natsu's

Folding his arms before staring at Natsu the brown-haired man spoke, "jeez did you have to eat like a freaking tornado! There is more food around the inn than your stomach!" Natsu smiled sheepishly at the remark rubbing his hand against the nape of his neck nervously, causing the cook, who was also a coffee server, to roll his eyes and begin to clean up.

Now that you've eaten and I've cleaned up your inhuman mess, we need to talk about Lucy" Natsu stiffened at the mention of his missing best friend, worry filled him. Was she ok, did she miss him, had they found her, was she being looked for by them?

Jamie noticed Natsus' stiff composure and suddenly rather pale face sighed before sitting down 'his not getting away so easily' being the thought that kept him from backing down.

Feeling it was odly similar to when he had interrogated Lucy. Jamie spoke up first "she misses you," he didn't wait for a reply before continuing "I can tell, Loke can too"

If Natsu hadn't been listing before he had now, the boy had forgotten about his companions lion constitution, he'd been in the guild before Lucy, she'd saved the lion from his death by summoning all her spirits at once, something yet to have been done by any other celestial mage. Natsu hadn't admitted it straight on but he was amazed when Loke had told him what had happened, she could have died from that much strain on her magical energy but she didn't, Lucy had kept on fighting.

Natsu fiddled with the edge of the table while he talked clearly looking for a distraction "I forgot she had Loke with her, why didn't he stop her!" although deny it he might Natsu knew why. Lucy was undeniably his master he could, give input to her but never really disobey her.

Jamie paused for a moment wondering what to say "Loke can look after her, besides this is Lucy, she is so strong now, I've watched her train, she can handle her own" Natsu could tell Jamie was trying to reassure him, but Natsu knew Lucy was strong, he saw her fight when he'd come back from training, it wasn't that he didn't believe she couldn't. Its just what he was worried about was a lot bigger than Lucy taking in a few bandits...

"I'm not worried about her taking down some bandits, Lucy can but I'm worried that something will happen that not even I can takedown, what if something were to happen to Lucy and I wasn't there to protect her"

"Natsu I don't think Lucy needs your protection, what exactly can she not takedown that you can?" the dragonslayer bit his lip, he couldn't tell Jamie, the fewer people that knew the better.

"I don't know, that's exactly the problem!" in a way he wasn't lying, Natsu didn't know exactly what was going down, just that he needed to be with Lucy.

if Jamie said that he didn't think Natsu was hiding something important form him he would be lying, Natsu was suggesting something big was going to happen but without suggesting it. Maybe he was wrong maybe Natsu was just being theoretical, and yet his gut made him think otherwise.

A memory flashed through Jamie's mind giving him his next question "Why were you so hard to track? Lucy found everyone, she knew their new homes, everyone except you, why where you off the radar?"

Panic struck Natsu, he had to think of an excuse and fast. Not knowing what to say he decided to be vague was his best option "I stayed on the move, places got boring easily" tapping his foot on the ground in an attempt to calm himself down, he couldn't tell him. The less people that knew the better, the less that new the better, the less that knew the better...

Jamie raised his eyebrows in response but to Natsu's relief didn't pressure the question any more "what exactly happened when you guys met again, I mean Lucy just quit her job and left?" he hated to admit it but he himself had been rather envious of Lucy's take off from the newspaper Sorcerer Weekly.

Finally Natsu smiled as his mind entered the memory "well after I went to the grand magic games thinking fairy tail would be participating I saw Lucy standing there smiling at me she looked so different, and she turned out to be working for that annoying newspaper company with some dude who was obsessed with the guild, bad choices of work if you ask me. but anyway" he said now spinning the salt shaker on the table, clearly Natsu liked the destraction when talking. "she took us to her new place and thats when I found out the guild had been disbanded, I could tell she was mad at me, the way she would mutter comments when she thought I wasn't listing," he chukled "she must have forgotten that because of my dragonslayer magic I can hear way better, it was upsettin' to know she was mad...is mad at me, but I don't regret what I did, maybe I regret how I did it, but..." he trailed, off staring at the salt shaker as if it was something he had never seen before.

"Natsu, why did you bring the guild back, I mean-"

"Because I saw the wall in Lucy's room" Jamie gasped as if it was something so sacred.

"She showed that to you, wow she must have been really mad to show you that, I was sworn to secrecy when I saw it, hell it usually made her cry just talking about it" for the first time in what Natsu thought he had meant Jamie, he looked impressed with Natsu.

"Umm, she didn't show it to me, I... I was gonna pull a prank on her while she was sleeping but when I got into her room I saw the wall, I have never felt so bad in my life, I saw that wall and I realised that although luce made it seem like she was ok with the guild disbanding she wasn't, and I also realised how lonely she was for that year, I had promised she would never be lonely but I was the one who broke the promise,"

Silence fell upon the pair of boys Natsu thinking what he had done, Jamie thinking of what Natsu had said. Lucy had been taken away from her family and left to build up her life now knowing no one. It must have been harder than she let on.

Suddenly Jamie sat up "whats your plan?"

"What?" Natsu had jerked up from the sudden question.

Jamie smiled at him "well, you have a promise to keep don't you? You have to have a plan"

Natsu suddenly slumped again "my plan was to find Luce and take her back to the guild and get Levy or Mira to talk some sense into her and I would make sure she was never lonely again". Levy was Lucy's best friend in the guild, the two girls would often give each other advice, Mira was lucy's idol before she had come to the guild and was also very convincing when she wanted to be.

"That is the worst plan I've ever heard" Jamie almost laughed surely the dragon surely wasn't that dense.

He was wrong

"I acted on instinct ok!" Natsu huffed while folding his arms in annoyance "Luce would usually come up with the plan.."

Jamie rolled his eyes "well we have work to do, listen do you have any idea where she would be heading?" now Jamie was standing up like he was about to start pacing around the small table.

Natsu opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a single word out Jamie began to speak again.

Cutting a finger through the air as he began to speak "actually no, I know where she would be, we are on the outskirts of oshibana so the easiest way to travel is... oshibana station! that most likely where she's headed, she left yesterday so, oh... she's probably long gone now"

Natsu cursed under his breath, " I ain't going on no transportation I'll walk there if I have to but like hell I'm going on a train "

Jamie froze on the spot was this boy stupid? Walk from oshibana station to... hell, he didn't even know where. "What do you mean, are you mad!?" somewhere along his sentence Jamie had unfrozen and was now staring at Natsu, eyes wide with confusion "don't you want to find Lucy?"

Natsu finally put the salt shaker down and stoop up "of course I do! I just won't be any good on a train, I have motion sickness" Natsu was irked by Jamie's comment why would he even need to ask that.

Natsu wasn't the only one losing their temper "oh don't be a child, you're seriously going to put yourself days behind because you can't handle a little stomach ache?!" was the dragonslayer seriously going to be so selfish?

The salamander growled, "if it was a little stomach ache then I would not even think of not going on the train, but when I'm on any transportation I can't even sit upright!"

Jamie still did not understand " you're pathetic Natsu, I can't believe you! Lucy would talk about you in such a noble way, how you were so brave, guess she was wrong there!" if his plan worked then maybe he himself would get a little adventure too.

He clenched his fists, pink hair looking even wilder than before, his voice so quiet it was barely a whisper and yet it made Jamie almost tremor with fear "don't you dare. Don't you dare try and manipulate me with Lucy's words! I'll go on the stupid train, but don't you dare doubt Lucy's words on anything!" when Natsu finished he looked over to the brown haired boy relaxing when he saw him nodded frantically, every muscle Natsu had wound up in his little rant began to unwind as he spoke again, this time in a much more relaxed voice "I'll go on the train, but I need you to come with me! To prove that my motion sickness is bad" his real reason for having Jamie come with him was purely because Natsu knew he wouldn't be able to get off at the right stop without someones help due to his motion sickness.

His newfound 'friend' didn't seem to realise this as he pulled out a hand to shake Natsu's "deal" was the last thing he said before going off to his room to pack.

It had been a long train journey for Lucy, when you have no company the once most joyed part of the mission becomes the most boring, slow part of the mission. She wished for some company but also knew it was unfair on her spirit friends to keep taking their time just because she was feeling lonely so instead she did what she hadn't done in a while, she wrote.

Although now she was in an unknown city, that she had truthfully not heard of apart from the fact it was past Clover where the guild masters met up. That was the slight knowledge of the town behind it, she had no idea of what to expect, making her grow more excited.

The new train station she was at was disappointingly similar to the one in Oshibana, for Lucy had wanted something new in her adventurous travels, the inside was a pale gray-blue colour with walls and pillars the colour of tea stained paper, but one thing Lucy noticed was the large engravement of Lavendel station right where the bright light was shining through the arch doors to said town.

"Lavendel..." Lucy muttered, testing the new word on her tongue. Although she was sure she had heard of this town before, 'must have been a job' she nodded to herself reassuringly before hopping into a stride for the sunny exit, ready to see the unknown town.

And it... it was beautiful

The warm radiant light from the sun so bright that the flowers turned their heads toward, and the flowers themselves, the flowers were of all different kinds, jasmins drooping from handing baskets there white and yellow giving a a beautiful contrast to the dark wood, perfect purple bluebells rising up through the cracks of the gray stone streets, ivy that climbed up the walls of each and every shop and store, its green so crisp and pure and the lavender it was everywhere, making the entire town smell of the refreshing herb so much so that Lucy had to take a breath in to balance herself from the blast -not that she was complaing about the heavenly smells-.

It was people filled, and Lucy loved that about it, someone was playing a happy bouncy melody that little boys and girls where dancing too, the parents bargaining deals at the marketplace further on ahead,

This was so familiar to Lucy that surprisingly it brought her joy more than disappointment.

The town reminded Lucy of Crotus and once again memories of her ex-partner filled her mind, the day they spent running around the unexplored town, how Natsu had placed a beautiful flower crown, with daisies and buttercups around her head to match the flower necklaces one of the locals had given her. If Lucy were totally honest that was her favourite day in the grand magic games, with all the fighting that was to go down for the next week Lucy, was glad the first day had been so was a shame Natsu wasn't here now...

The celestial mage walked down the street, smiling at every passerby as she went, having bought herself a wonderful bracelet that had a pink stone in the center and was tied with white strings to keep it in place as well as giving the wearer the availability of different sizes the mage decided to save her money and keep that as her only souvenir.

Even when in a place packed with people and things to do Lucy couldn't help but feel a little lonely. The blond knew she could call Loke but it felt wrong to call upon her spirit just to have company, he was probably spending time with Aries a cute spirit who had known loke longer than herself, Lucy didn't want to risk interrupting their date -even if Loke had said she could if she wanted to call him-.

The girl was now regretting not having made a plan, because now she didn't know what to do. Finding herself mumble a string of words related to stupid and unprepared the mage opted to look for Aquarius's key.

It felt stupid, beyond stupid, to walk around a town looking for an extremely powerful key that most didn't even know was missing. The spirit king hadn't even told her where to begin looking, making it all the harder for her, it could be on a different continent for all she knew! And yet she still refused to give up until most of the town had been looked over.

It had been almost 4 hours of searching and the girl had found nothing, not even a measly jewel, and was beginning to looses hope on finding her first friends key. "I should get looking for a place to stay instead" the blond muttered to herself as she turned a corner to hear...sniffiling? picking up her pace Lucy looked at each alleyway to find the source of the noise, it was getting louder and louder with each alley she passed.

When she turned her head again she found a little boy, crying, not knowing what to do Lucy decided to speak to the boy before deeming him a threat, although she had a hand near her whip just in case it was some type of trap, "hello, are you alright?" her voice soft and calm, like a mother would be.

The boy flinched when she spoke, clearly surprised by the new voice, "m-my d-daddy, he was supposed to come home over a week ago from his job but I haven't seen him. I don't know w-what to do" and with that, any sliver of restraint on his crying the boy had put was gone, he was now bawling his eyes out.

Lucy's heart ached for the boy, this was the way she had met Romeo, a sweet little boy in fairy tail who's Dad went missing. Natsu and she had been the ones to find his dad, it had been Lucy's first ever job so she couldn't help but want to help the boy.

"Where was he heading," Lucy asked as she put a hand on the boys back hoping to give him some kind of comfort.

"Past the forest over there and river to round where some bandits are livin'. h-he was supposed to be back now, he promised he would be"

"I'll find him for you," the mage said firmly, she was a member of fairy tail, she couldn't just let this boy live without his Father. She knew first hand how hard it was to lose a parent, no one should have to go through that.

The little boys head perked up to show his brown eyes that made his curly brown hair "r-really?" his sniffing suspended and the child wiped his eyes, a hopeful flicker now lighting them.

A smile graced her lips as she looked down at the kind "yes, now what your name? I'm going to need to tell your Father your ok when I find him"

"Kibo" and now the boy named Kibo was smiling

Lucy smiled back, it made her happy to see the boy smile "well Kibo, I'm Lucy Heartfillia, a member of fairy tail and I will get you your Dad back" she stood up not wanting to waste a second but the boy spoke again.

"W-wait! Your the Lucy Heartfillia from fairy tail?" now Kibo's eyes gleamed with excitement "that means your Natsu's partner! Can I meet him?" Lucy almost laughed at the boy's interest in Natsu, it was the same with Romeo

"I'm sorry Kibo, I'm going solo for a while, Natsu's not here. But when I meet him again I'll tell him a boy named Kibo is waiting to meet him" it was a promise she intended to keep.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're the best!" and the little boy gave her the most powerful hug she had ever had.

"No problem kiddo, now I'll go find your Dad"

 **Sooooo, what didya think? Was it incredibly boring or page turning exiting? I decided I didn't want to leave Jamie just yet! Lets not forget about Kibo, a little boy who cant find his father, isn't that oddly familiar?**

 **ohhhh also I'm back on Tumblr same url as on here, I'll be posting one shots and this story on there too!**

 **thanks for reading!**


	6. I,,,I did it

**are you all still here? oh, thank god! I'm so sorry! yeah, I had a few tests...a few more next week...then its easter so no school! Honestly, my tests are more important than you people, sorry! I was gonna edit yesterday but i had to write a 1,500+ story on a book we are reading...effort much.**

 **btw this chapter is pretty boring, i just needed to give you guys SOMETHING!**

 **anyways I'm alive and well enough!**

It was not cold, no, it was absolutely freezing. Bone-chilling weather that left Lucy's feet numb. Not that she wanted to feel her feet, the blond had tripped up at some point while walking through the forest and judging by the scrapes her left foot had collected, the numbness was better.

But the celestial spirit mage was not going to back down, this -compared to her other missions- was a piece of cake. She wasn't tired, not even slightly, and you could say the same about her being scared, but even though it was an easy mission Lucy never once let her guard down, always alert 'see them before they see you' where the six words that seemed to fill her mind, like a tape playing on repeat.

After what felt like hours Lucy made it to what was unmistakably the river Kibo had been talking about. It was wide, and the water was flowing at a quick speed, but not strong enough to pull her across if she were to attempt at walking through it, well swim through it, it looked rather deep.

Deciding her best option was to look for some kind of bridge. After all, it was far too cold for someone to swim through, and the mage knew she wouldn't be able to jump across.

The blond was extra careful when walking beside the river, if Kibo was right then the bandits would be close by and she wanted to see them before they saw her. It was a risk she was not going to take it wasn't just her life on the line, Kibo's dads was too.

After a few torturous minutes, Lucy found herself in front of a narrow wooden bridge, it looked slightly rotten, so she had to walk quickly with her feet light. The mage almost fell into the river a few times due to the small gaps and slippery damp wood, quickening her pace in fear of falling in the girl made It to the other side of the river injury free.

Barely a minute passed until Lucy heard talking, it was an uneven, but loud voice that strangely reminded her of the stereotypical pirate "keep a lookout will ya, I swear I heard something a moment ago" Lucy's heart rate picked up at that, deciding to prepare herself for the inevitable she made sure her hand hovered over her whip.

A new voice came into tune, a deep, clear voice that this time sounded as if it belonged to a boastful prince "you fool, this is a forest! It was most likely an animal" the man all but sneered at the other.

"If I didn't know any better I'd be saying you doubted me, boy. What? Spent a few weeks out of ya little mansion and think you know everything. I've got a good 4 years of experience over you, so I'd do as you're told if I where you" this time the first man's voice was seeping with annoyance, clearly not liking to be contradicted, judging by the tone in the rich boy's voice Lucy assumed he wasn't going to say anything else.

Keeping her footing light and eyes in the direction of the voices Lucy hovered over to a tree to hide behind, by the looks of things there where two men, one in rather expensive looking clothes and perfectly gelled hair while the other rather plump and in more of a bandit style attire. To Lucy, it was obvious that the prince-like-boy was not there by choice but a bargain maybe.

But then she noticed a man with curly coffee coloured hair, tied up by a tree with another man sleeping nearby. The man sleeping nearby unlike the brown haired man was not tied up but in a sleeping bag, his hair a dark, poppy red matching Erzas and a jagged scar across his jaw up to his cheek, the man looked to be more menacing than the others, but Looks could be deceiving so Lucy decided her best option to be taking out the first two men and then attack the third and finally bring back Kibo's Dad.

Now knowing her plan Lucy ran out from the hidden trees and cracked her whip around the more experienced bandit and dragged him downocking the younger man down with him. The Young man let out a rather high-pitched scream when the pirate-like man came to contact with him, curses flying from his mouth.

Lucy readied herself for her next attack, a certain bull came into mind, his brute strength would be needed to help her finish these two off before the sleeping man woke. He was a surprisingly deep sleeper.

Grabbing the key of her spirt friend Lucy yelled "open the gate of the bull, Taurus!" a second after a blinding light so bright even Lucy herself had to squint came in the shape of a bull, but this bull seemed to have the stance of a human. Only on two feet and he carried a large axe, his presence was intimidating, to say the least.

"Moooooo Lucy, you're looking as fine as ever today with our power! Wouldn't mind if ya gave me a smoooooch" the blonds eye twitched in irritation. Honestly, why did her spirts have to be so …weird

Lucy was now in a cow patterned bikini top, navy blackish trousers with one leg missing and a belt with his zodiac sign. Her boots when up to her knees, she had a bag around her hips to top the outfit of her once down hair was now presented in two side buns with some wisps of hair at the front to frame her face.

Lucy gritted her teeth "just help me deal with these guys" in return her spirit nodded, both placing themselves in their battle stances "here we go!" Lucy yelled as the two men charged towards them, both with looking in their eyes that showed they were out for blood.

Needless to say, it was an easy win. The first, bandit/pirate styled man tried to grab straight for her neck but was stopped by Lucy swiftly dodging the mans hairy hands and went straight for a punch to his fat throat before kicking the man down by tripping him up, she heard a few twigs snap and the crumple of leaves not to mention the loud slap of his head hitting a jagged tree stump, Lucy had to restrain her power in fear of killing the fat man, at the moment he had passed out from hitting his head on a rather large tree stump. Lucy had seen enough bloodshed before.

Wiping a few stray hairs out of her face Lucy readied herself for the other man's attack, surprisingly he seemed to be quite confident even after seeing his, what seemed to be, mentor get beaten. "So, you got rid of the old fool for me. That means all I have to deal with is you"

The blonds glare hardened as she took in his battle stance, noticing the bandage on his forearm. A weakness.

Deciding to allow the rich boy before her the first move she all but waited for the sound of harsh footprints coming her way. When the heavy thudding of the man's feet came close to her, the young woman's head snapped up to see a snarl like expression plastered across his face and then… he stopped. His snarl turning into a wild smile as a flash of green light came flying her way, wrapping around her wrists and neck, slowly beginning to cut into her skin.

He chuckled smoothly as her legs kicked at the air, Taurus, as she had just noticed, was gone, he was back in the spirit realm. "Don't bother calling for one of your precious little friends. They won't be able to help you, I'll just do the same to them as I did to Taurus. Quite simple I cut off your magic supply to your keys, they can't come out if your magic is low" and then it was panic that struck her, Lucy's keys wouldn't work. She still had her magic but an almost border like a shield had cut her magic off from them, the portals to this world would work.

"Sorry I'm late princess, Taurus just told me there was trouble. I'm sure it wasn't as fun without me here anyway." He pondered for a moment before his fist began to light up and that lazy grin turned into a frown "you picked the wrong girl to mess with Mister, I'm her husband and-"

Lucy rolled her eyes, "You are not my husband Lo-"and as if on cue the beams of light tightened forcefully shutting Lucy up as well as a fist colliding with the rich boys face.

A powerful smack echoed through the forest; seconds later an unconscious young man fell to the ground, Lucy was realised and gasping for breath, he lungs greedy for some fresh oxygen. She could only here the fair murmur of 'asshole' from Loke as he lightly kicked the unconscious man's stomach.

Blood was spilling out of her wrists but the adrenaline numbed the pain to a light sting, her eyes focused on the unconscious brown-haired man and her mind focusing on her breathing.

Loke watched her in slight alarm, she had lost not a large amount of blood, but enough to extremely concern her dear friend "Princess are you ok? I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner, it's just Taurus was exp-"

She waved him off, shaking her head. The girl couldn't have her spirits blaming themselves. In her opinion it was her fault for being careless, "its…its, not your fault…Loke" her voice sounding cracked and dry causing guilt to swell up inside her celestial spirits gut. 'I should have come earlier' Loke thought to himself.

"But Princess-" he began but Lucy had stopped looking at him and was now standing up again, her whip already in her hand, he followed her line of gaze until his eyes met dark orange ones.

"You took down the brat and the bandit, I would say I'm impressed but truthfully…I'm not. You're Lucy Hartfillia from Fairy Tail guild, and you have celestial spirits. I expect so much better with so much unused power." Before Lucy could even comprehend it, a punch was thrown to her face, pain tingling on her jaw. It was defiantly going to leave a nasty bruise. Loke blocked the once sleeping man's next attack, it would have been a blow to the chest for Lucy if Loke hadn't stepped in.

Rightening herself up the blond took her stance, she was still in her Taurus transformation and she still had some of her bull like friend's strength, she was going all out.

The blond sprinted over to the two men fighting, her loin friend seemed to notice her running forward and made a last-second dodge as she punched the man before her, his yellow eyes darkening as he fell back into a tree, she had made Army's' fall with Fairy Tail, and like hell she was going to allow some kidnapper overrun her.

Without a second thought, the young fighter pulled than man back with her whip and then she froze. Not by her will of course, but she assumed that was this man's magic, she could only breath and blink. Fear filled every inch of her being. Was this all his magic could do, or was there more?

When another electric blue came her way through the other man's hand Lucy had her question answered.

She could feel Loke's eyes on her "that's playing dirty!" he had cried in a weak attempt to stop the attack but was too slow to reach her before the impact of this man's assault hit her.

Her pain was so fierce that it broke the spell this man had placed on her, or maybe it was Loke's vicious attacks. Either way, her whole body was numb and yet It also felt like all her skin had been burnt and peeled off. She couldn't stop fighting, Lucy had faced worse injury's.

She had one last chance at a spell that she had been trying to masterfully for months, research and training had lead up to the moment she would need to use in battle, a moment like this. 'I sure do hope this works' she thought to herself. She had tried to use this spell in her training and the last time she had tried it the girl had almost fully completed it.

Tacking a shaky inhale, the girl readied herself, this was going beyond her limits but it was the last chance she had of beating this man without outright killing him _. "Survey the Heavens, Open the Heavens...All the stars, far and wide...Show me thy appearance...With such , Tetrabiblos... I am the ruler of the stars...Aspect become complete...Open thy malevolent , 88 Stars of the heaven... Shine!_ Urano Metria!"

And at that moment 88 stars surrounded the man and Lucy, it was like an illusion, colour filled their vision. Without thinking Lucy's hand shot up; a bling, jagged, green blot of magic was sent flying over to the man before her, and this time it was his screams that filled the forest.

And then there was silence. The man was not dead, just unconscious, and lucy was weak from the strain on her magic power. she had completed the spell all by herself, she had now mastered urano metria.

"I…I did it," she said shakily whilst slumping down onto her knees, although she was proud of herself the total on her magic power was strong, "l-Loke?" Lucy called out, her celestial spirit would not have left mid-battle, would he?

Seconds later said spirt popped up with a man who looked exactly like an older Kibo leaning on him for support "Lucy are you alright? You have used up a lot of magical power," a shining grin plastered on to his face when he saw her smile "and you successfully scared the hell out of me, Lucy!"

Said girl lay back onto the floor, a heavy sigh escaping her lips, she really was exhausted "is Kibo's Dad alright?" deciding it best to get straight to the point.

And on cue, the boy's Father spoke "I'm fine thank you, Miss Heartfillia. Thank you so much. I can't believe you put your life on the line for me. Thank you"

"The pleasure's all mine"

They could leave, Loke had tied up all three of the bandits to separate trees with some yellow rope that he had found in one of the men's' tent. And the walk back had been longer than the walk there, Loke had insisted on giving Lucy a piggyback ride there because even though the stubborn mage claimed to be fine the celestial mage could see her panting. Kibo's father turned out to be called Chikara, he didn't know why he had been attacked probably to get money from his guild, which was called 'the mighty', who definitely would have gone for a more physical approach to getting their missing member back.

A soft chuckle slipped from Lucy's lips, Kibo was running as fast as his fragile little legs could carry him to his father. A few tears fell from the father and son's eyes as the little boy squealed for his missing dad who was now crouched with open arms awaiting his only son. The air was looked from Chikara's lungs as his son, Kibo, hugged him with all the strength his tiny arms could muster, the little kid's tears now pouring down his face "Daddy, I missed you so much. I love you, I love you with all my heart Daddy, don't ever leave me again." Small hands were clutching the man's shirt as he only clung tighter to his little boy. Lucy felt her heart melt over the pair, she thought of Romeo, of Igneel and Natsu and her own father. If only her and her father had that kind of happily ever after. Shaking her head in an attempt to get the thoughts of her father out of her head, 'he's gone now. You shouldn't dwell on things you can't change'. The blonds face must have had a sad expression on it because her ginger-haired friend gave her a questioning look for a moment before asking "Lucy, are you alright" With a small nod, Lucy replied "yeah, just a little tired. We should probably find somewhere to stay" and she was right it was getting late and if Lucy didn't find shelter soon she would be sleeping on the streets, loke was lucky enough to be able to go to the spirit realm but even so, the spirit had decided to stay and help her find shelter.

When overhearing part of the pair's conversation the father looked up "I owe you my life, let me at least give you somewhere to stay, our infirmary at the guild is quite large and has a few beds"

Lucy was slightly thrown back at this, she had expected a thank you but not this, a small smile graced her lips, she was slightly relieved to not have to go searching for shelter, "really, yes! Thank you" she was unsure of whether to trust the pair, she had only just met them of course, but it was at their guild hall, she could look after herself. She had her spirits.

"Well let's get going!"

 **lazy wiring at the end i know! but its better than nothing! i will be focusing more on Natsu and Jamie next chapter, i think its time the story starts to begin don't ya think...or should i delay it for a while longer?**

 **thank you all for reading! please review!**


	7. A friend of fairy tail

**I feel like every chapter I apologise for not updating...sorry! This chapter doesn't have much but read between the lines, dudes.**

He was a wreck. The way his hair matted to his forehead from when Jamie poured water over him to wake him up, the way purple bags marked the under part of his eyes, the way his head pounded. Natsu felt terrible, when he and Jamie had arrived the Dragonslayer could have sworn he had heard the soft voice that belonged to Lucy. But after searching for hours Natsu found nothing. Deciding it was best him and Jamie found somewhere to put up his tent the two boys found somewhere on the other side of town near a small antiques' shop, an alleyway leading to nowhere.

And sleep had been hard for the Dragonslayer to find, he couldn't shake the thought that Lucy was going to be in some sort of danger, that if he didn't find her soon the year without her would be for nothing. Tomorrow he would have to search this entire town.

The walls of the infirmary where a crisp white, as where the beds and floor, the mattresses themselves where not exactly the comfiest either which was probably the reason Lucy Heartfilia was awake as what most would think an ungodly hour, it was 4:30 in the morning and light had just started to enter this white room. Lucy didn't want to leave without saying goodbye but at the same time, she wanted to see the town when there would be no one around. She found something so painful and sad yet beautiful about an empty town. Maybe it was the feeling of being alone, maybe it was the way a heavy silence surrounded her. So, she left a note explaining she would be back at some point in the day.

In truth, Lucy was still a little exhausted from her little adventure the day before, her magic not yet fully restored and her foot still hurting. They didn't have a healer like Wendy in their guild. The blond had to make do, she didn't want to wait out her foot healing and it wasn't like she was going to be fighting anyone, so Lucy finished writing her note and began to walk out of the small guild.

She breathed in. icy fresh air filled her lungs and rays of sunlight hit her arms and face. It was a beautiful morning, the clouds gently floating along in the sky, the birds that flew from tree to tree, and the trees, the flowers blooming on the trees meaning at some point soon fruit would begin to grow. It was like a fairy tale.

The mage tried to memorise everything she was seeing, wanting to never forget this beautiful town, the only sound being the tap of her boots on the cobblestone path as she walked through the town. Lucy now had the opportunity to think, really think.

She thought about where to go on this adventure of hers, was it the right thing to do? No. Lucy had decided that of course, she could have handled the situation differently, in a way that wouldn't have upset anyone. But Lucy didn't want to do it like that. Lucy was so sick and tired of dealing with her emotions from crying and talking. Everyone else got to change it was time for her to stop moping around in self-pity and just do something, this was her something. Even if part of her didn't want it to be…

Soon her thoughts trailed back to Natsu. Lucy wanted to tell him about this city, about meeting this little boy and his father, about Jamie and the inn. Lucy wanted to have hundreds of stories to tell, and she wanted to hear Natsu's. she wanted to see Natsu…

As if the world was playing a cruel joke Lucy saw a tent, Natsu's tent. it had to be, the tent had the hole from when Gray and Natsu had a fight and Gray cut open Natsu's tent while he was sleeping. Natsu got his own back, multiple scorch marks littered Gray's, small tricks like this occurred until Erza had enough and threatened to make them share a tent if they did not stop.

Lucy stepped closer to the tent, it hadn't been very long what was it now, just under a week? But the way she left made it feel like much longer. That's right, she left. No going back now, she had to look for Aquarius's key. Her closest friend as a child. And yet turning away from Natsu's tent was harder than when she had left, Lucy needed a distraction, somewhere to go. Looking around she saw an old, battered shop. The wood slightly rotten and the sign, worn with the paint fading slightly, the words 'one's useless tool is another's golden key'. The celestial mage was unsure if it was a reference to her rare magic or simply an ultimate key. Either way, Lucy found herself liking the small shop.

You would have thought a rusty old shop like this one would be an outcast to the beautiful cottage styled town, but that assumption would be wrong. Ivy vines covered the walls of the shop, Dark greens on the pointed leafs and brown vines clinging to the breaking away wood, giving it strength and life that only the most skilled mages could give. Lucy hoped to one day learn more about this naturistic style of magic.

Part of her knew the shop would be closed until the morning but the bigger, more curious, part of her made her think twice about walking away. Lucy opened the door, it hadn't been locked, meaning either it was open, or the owner had forgotten to lock up. It was the latter. Lucy knew because there wasn't a person in sight, only the sense of a mage upstairs. A strong one. And yet Lucy felt the magical energy to be elegant.

With a small click, the door closed and Lucy walked further into the small shop. It had a damp smell, the smell of potions and old books. One Lucy had subconsciously associated with knowledge and safety.

Remembering that she was trespassing the celestial mage began to look around the old store, Lucy swore to herself that wouldn't steal, anything that peaked her interest would be bought.

Looking around the cluttered shop Lucy found a beautiful dark green cloak, the heavy fabric feeling soft to the touch with a golden lace trim around the edges. It was perfect for her.

"Lucy Heartfilia, I never expected to see you here" she whipped her head round to the source of the noise only to find an old looking woman standing by a doorway. The woman was wearing what looked to be a pale pink nightgown with her silver-grey hair pulled back into a think bun.

Panic surrounded Lucy, she had been caught and recognised "I-I" the old woman out a hand in front of her silently telling Lucy to stop talking.

Sighing the old woman looked up to the roof, Lucy noticed the wrinkles that littered her skin as well as scars that looked to be from battles. Brown eyes snapped over to Lucy "don't worry, you're not in trouble, you came here seeking something. What might that be?"

Lucy squirmed in place uncomfortable with the woman's powerful stare "my friend, I came looking for my friend Aquarius's key, as well as other things I might be able to use on my adventure." Lucy straightened herself up before meeting the elderly woman's eyes.

A soft smile was placed on the grey-haired woman's face, her eyes softening with fondness "you remind me of myself, adventuring alone, looking for a friend, running away," Lucy opened her mouth to protest before realising she had run away. The woman continued "I do not have the key you're looking for, I'm sorry. But I do have things that could help you" her voice was quick, pausing for what felt like a second too long before continuing with each sentence.

Lucy felt weary of the old woman, unsure if how trustworthy she really was. Deciding that there wasn't much she had to lose right now Lucy opted to trust the woman "I knew it was a long shot her being here…so what's the thing that could help me?"

A toothy grin made its way on to the old woman's face "the cloak my dear, it hides the magic user's power and any way of detecting the identity. I've gone many places with this cloak, its saved my life countless times" her brown eyes flickering with fire as she anticipated Lucy's reaction

'So, she had used this cloak…' the blonds brain working like clockwork, snapping the pieces together was this... "who are you?"

Turing away from Lucy the old woman went to get something, continuing to talk while looking through a variety of boxes, "an old friend of fairy tails, I am Ultear" Lucy's eyes widened, this was the old woman that they had driven past, the reason grey had cried the journey home. The reason they were all still alive.

Without even realising it Lucy walked up to be facing her old friend and hugged Ultear, ignoring the elderly woman's, at first, slight protest "thank you, you saved all of us. We all owe you our life's"

Tears welled up in the elderly woman's eyes, had that minute really been worth so much, had her life been worth so much? Flashes of her dear friends swirled through her mind was everyone one ok since the last time she had seen them. All the old woman had was the sorcerer weekly usually being how each of them where doing reputation wise, mentally Ultear was left in the blue "how's Gray?" she asked, the boy having been like a brother to her after they got over what some would call 'family difficulty's'.

Lucy smiled brightly reassuring her old friend "great, a lot of stuff happened but nothing a fairy tail mage can't take…he still thinks about you, he doesn't say it. Well, at least not to me. But I can tell he still thinks about you" her voice sincere as she looked over at a small purple potion, focusing on the sparkle of the gel-like liquid instead of Ultear's strong gaze.

"I think of him too" Ultear said quietly before turning her head to look at a clock on the wall "Natsu will wake up soon, I don't know why you're not with him but I can tell something is up" pushing Lucy closer towards the exit with every word until they were by the door, "Lucy I can tell you now, There is something a lot bigger going on, something a lot more important than an argument between you and Natsu. I know better than to try and convince you to return to fairy tail but I can warn you to keep your guard up, all I know are rumours. Something about a globe…now go!"

Lucy shuddered, unable to describe how she felt. Scared? No. Prepared? Not a chance. Maybe she had begun to see it as a normal thing, being followed that is, maybe her curiosity was getting in the way of the fear? 'what is going on?' Unable to respond Lucy nodded pulling the cloak over her head with a shaking hand so that Natsu wouldn't be able to detect her If he woke up. Gulping she stepped out of the rotting shop and back onto the stony, old path, turning to give Ultear a small wave goodbye. When, if ever, would she meet her again?

 **How was it? Any ideas as to whats going to happen in the long run? I suppose I'm going to have to at least try and make the chapters longer now. to much effort... you guys do realise it takes me YEARS to edit like 500 words, I can never tell what is spelt wrong**


	8. Its time to go

**idohosajghoifdh I'M ALIVE**

It was one of those days. One of the days everything was so daunting. So exhausting. Natsu would usually be there. Smiling and making jokes, happily teasing her. It was days like that she missed. Wanting to run back home, apologise and move on. But Natsu hadn't done that. He'd been so strong.

She just wanted to cry. To let all her problems go, because wouldn't that be so much easier. Letting go, forgetting and just being at peace.

Not knowing what to do Lucy summoned Loke. He didn't need to ask, he didn't even need to speak before wrapping his arms around his master.

"I just miss them so much" Happy and Natsu. They were her best friends. A bond stronger than anything Loke had seen.

He didn't know what to say. This was different. Last time Lucy couldn't find them, this time it was the other way around. she needed her motivation back. Her goal. "You want to find Aquarius, Lucy?" his voice didn't waver, right then she needed someone to be strong for her.

Lucy sobbing didn't stop only turning to a more muffled whimper, she nodded against his chest.

"say it, Lucy"

There was a moment of silence, a moment Lucy took to compose herself "yes" she whispered. Her voice still sounded so little, so lost, so not his strong master.

He'd try again, "tell me what you'll do" he commanded. Holding her tighter his voice softer yet so much more powerful. Would this work?

It did. "I will find Aquarius. And I will form a contract with her. And I will get stronger and I will solve my problems" that golden shimmer mixed its way into Lucy's eyes, the one that Loke new all too well. Lucy was back. And she was unstoppable.

"There you are" he murmured, an un-hideable smile locked itself onto his lips. "I missed you, Princess"

She smirked back, body still shaking slightly from her mini breakdown, "thanks, Loke. I needed that"

"Anything for you my love"

Lucy laughed. it was always the same with Loke. he would always be there for her as would all her other spirits. "Shut up" she grumbled, before giving him a playful jab to the ribs. Loke merely moved away happy his master was ok again.

"My heart is hurt" he cried dramatically, dropping to his knees, "how will I ever recover" but the smile was still stuck to his stupid face, barely holding back a chuckle when Lucy rolled her eyes playfully.

"You're obnoxious, you know that right?" Lucy said. Trying to sound serious but failing entirely. Loke's laughter spreading to her.

And they both just knew, everything would be ok. She'd see Natsu, Happy and everyone else. A year would fly by. And Aquarius would be with her to celebrate the next.

* * *

He wanted to hear her. He craved her soothing voice to help him think. Keep him grounded. Because it meant she was alive. And she needed to be alive.

His list of wants went further than that of course. He wanted to tell her everything. He knew she'd be furious for him keeping it from her but she would also understand. He also wanted to apologise for leaving. He wanted to make Lucy promise she would never leave again. But fate had other things planned.

Not that he cared. If Natsu could he'd punch fate in the face. Fate was something the Dragonslayer like to think he could ignore if he tried hard enough. He'd beaten fate before. To protect Lucy. So he'd be damned if he didn't do it again.

Fate had won his last round. Lucy leaving before Natsu had gotten to the Inn. It wouldn't happen again. He was done being too late.

And now he had a real reason to be worried. Natsu could have sworn he had heard the sound of footsteps down the street but no new sent filled the crisp air. Someone was up to something, and Lucy could be in danger.

Of course, It could be nothing. But they could be one of _them_ , Looking for her? It could be a dark mage trying to stay off the radar.

It wasn't worth the risk. "Jamie, get up" he said, gently prodding the boy's stomach with his sandal-covered foot. They needed to get moving as soon as possible and if he could help it Natsu preferred to not leave Jamie alone. They were unsure of what trouble they could run into.

It was a moment or two before Natsu got a response from the brown haired boy "okay, I'm awake." Although there was a drowzyness to his voice. Natsu sighed, it would be a while before they left.

The pink haired man found himself standing outside his tent tapping his foot impatiently, he was used to it, of course, Lucy would take hours at a time getting ready. He had been willing to wait for her without much complaint, but with anyone else he discovered himself to be less lenient "it has been hours, the hell is taking you so long? We've got to get moving."

A scowl came from Jamie and Natsu was pretty sure he heard him fall over before finally, the boy emerged. "okay, where we heading?" Jamie asked clapping his hands together while looking around eagerly.

"Nowhere till we pack up the tent," he said plainly, growing impatient with the boy Natsu packed it away himself. He missed having Happy with him.

Soon enough the pair were walking and Natsu reminded himself that things weren't all bad with Lucy's friend.

* * *

Jamie had a lot to think about. It had been just over three days since the pair had arrived in Lavendel and Jamie was beginning to wonder why they were staying in the same place.

Surly if they wanted ot find Lucy then they would have too keep moving and hunting for clues?

He didn't question Natsu though. The boy must have had his reasons for staying, being away from Lucy was driving Natsu insane. Jamie wasn't stupid. He knew there was more to it than Lucy having gone off on her own. Lucy could take care of herself. With the way Natsu was acting Jamie knew there was more going on than Lucy thought. Whatever it was, it had enough potential to leave the mighty salamander a panicking mess.

"I'm going to check out the markets" Natsu began, not bothering to look at Jamie as he walked "I wanna get somthin' for Luce and Happy" Happy. Jamie had forgotten about Lucy's other friend. It must be tough for him. His two best friends gone. How was he coping?

"Sure" Jamie agreed. Change jingled in his pocket. Maybe he could buy a souvenir from his first adventure? A step towards building the life he'd chosen.

Part of him knew he was being selfish. Deep down he was on this rescue mission because he wanted an adventure. They were supposed to be finding Lucy before whatever was in Natsu's mind became a reality, yet they were practically sight-seeing.

Still, Jamie could never believe how beautiful the town was. Flowers that he couldn't begin to identify drowned his senses.

The people laughed and smiled, street performers sang and danced. It felt like a never-ending festival.

Oddly Natsu didn't seem surprised by the towns excitement. He just walked through the town, hands behind his head. browsing each stall as they passed. Nothing really catching his attention.

Jamie wondered if he would ever be able to travel like this on his own.

Natsu stopped for a little while at a few different stores. He didn't bother to see what Natsu was looking at. It wasn't his business after all.

Jamie hadn't found anything that caught his eye either. He didn't mind that much. Because he doubted he would ever forget this beautiful town.

The pair continued walking. A calm silence between them. Neither wanting to share their thoughts.

* * *

It was time to move on. She'd spent enough time in this small town. Enough time had been wasted. She had to keep moving. Natsu was too close and Lucy feared she wouldn't be able to resist seeing him and Happy.

Loke had agreed obviously. She knew It was hard for him too. He was a member of fairy tail, he was being parted from his guild as well.

They walked out of the infirmary together. Saying goodbye to everyone, feeling guilty for the look of shock and panic that replaced the smiled everyone wore. Lucy was admittedly surprised. She hadn't expected them to try to get her to stay.

Kibo refused to leave her side until they left for the door. That's when he told her he had something to show her. A wicked grin plastered on his face, Lucy gulped and Loke raised his eyebrows in amusement. That was until Kibo told her Loke wasn't allowed to see it.

He didn't argue. Mutter and grumble his disagreement, yes. But argue, no. He couldn't. Especially when Lucy apologised.

Kibo and Lucy walked hand in hand. Lucy discovered Kibo's hands where quite rough for a child's, she didn't dare comment. Not wanting him to cry. But Lucy did wonder why, after all, Kibo was too young to have done any fighting or work.

He'd asked her about her green cloak. Why it was covering her face and why she wouldn't take it off. Lucy had deflected the questions. Trying to distract him with the stalls they where walking past. She didn't notice the annoyance in Kibo's eyes.

They had been walking for a few minutes and Lucy was feeling rather warm from the cloak. How much further? What if she ran into Natsu? They passed a couple more market stalls when Kibo yanked her through an opening. He was surprisingly strong for a five-year-old.

But she didn't comment. He knew where he was going. And what harm could be done? She was there to protect him, they would be safe.

And that's when he let go of her hand.

"Kibo?" she asked as he ran into a bush, a few leaves falling to the ground as he did so. She went to go after him when she heard someone running from a different bush.

It was one of the bandits from before. The rich one. His hair not gelled up this time but clipped back, "I have to say" he began, a coy smile twisting onto his face, "I didn't think it would take us thing long to get you" the smile only grew and his eyes went deadly, "I said we should just beat you up while you were sleeping, but _they_ do like to feel involved" he rolled his eyes at the word they. They. Who were they? The guild she'd been with? No!

It was a moment of weakness. He lunged. Ready to send her sprawling across the ground from a mear punch to the face.

But Lucy was faster than that. She grabbed his fist. Ignoring the agonising green glow cutting into her skin and off her magic. She didn't need her keys right now. Lucy could fight without her magic.

Lucy's leg sprung out, using her shin to kick the bandit forcefully in the ribs. _crack_. He went flying. screaming in pain as he did so. The glowing stopped and the barrier stopping her magic broke. She seized the opportunity.

Virgo appeared, not needing to be told what to do she dug a hole where the rich boy bandit had fallen. From where Lucy was standing it looked as if the ground were crumbling in on him and swallowing him whole.

Lucy didn't have long to ponder on those thoughts when not only did the other bandit from before appear but Chikara did too. Everything went quit yet oh painfully loud in Lucy's mind. Kibo's father, Chikara, being missing it was all a lie? He had never been on a job, he was with those bandits and Kibo was too.

She was pissed. It filled her veins. How could they? Kibo was a small child and they brought him into such dark things. "You disgust me" she found herself saying. But she didn't feel in control. Lucy felt like she was floating, Lucy was in a void. Blinded by the betrayal and rage.

Kibo's father, Chikara, laughed. "Sorry Lucy, nothing personal. People are willing to pay for someone like you. And when we found out a celestial mage had walked right into our town. Well, we had to act fast" he smiled, "even if it is the fairy tail mage Lucy Heartfilia " his curly brown hair bounced with every step closer he took. Things were getting dangerous. what magic did he have again?

Lucy didn't have time to think right now. Just fight.

So that's what she did, "Gemini" and then a replica of someone she really didn't want to see right then appeared. Natsu. they had been messing around, Natsu saying he wanted to 'fight himself'. It had been funny then. But now it was a distraction. Flames appeared at his fists and he lunged at the plump pirate beside Chikara.

Lucy could have cried but now Natsu the time. Her mind had gone dry. It was stupid. The idea of Natsu had sent her mind into a frenzy. She went to grab a key any key. Someone to help her. Instead, she found her whip. _Her whip_. With all the new information Lucy had forgotten about her favourite weapon.

In a millisecond it was out and Kibo's dad was on the floor. She jumped on top of him. Hands turned into angry fists punching him square in the face. Too angry to think. Kibo didn't know any better. Kibo was just a child and they used him. It played in her head like a broken stereo. They used a little boy in a world he didn't understand. She went to punch him again, adrenaline, anger and pain mixed through her veins. He grabbed her wrist. Using it as an opportunity to turned them over. Undoing her cloak at the same time. But lucy was too caught up in her fight to notice.

Before she could respond pain inflicted her left cheek, it throbbed painfully. Adrenalin taking the worst of the hit away. She took control again. It was a repeat of grabbing and dodging. Lucy couldn't roll him over. He was too heavy. And the smile on his face showed he knew. Time. She needed a few seconds to think. She could get out of this. She'd been in so much worse. He was about to strike again, Lucy saw a second too late, she didn't dare close her eyes. She wouldn't allow herself to be afraid.

But the pain didn't come. Natsu's fist covered her vision. Gemini. It was Gemini she had to remember. Gemini. Not Natsu. Kibo's father was in the dirt, unconscious a blistering burn mark on his cheek.

And then she was squished into Gemini/Natsu's chest. She pulled away, this was too familiar. Her heart couldn't take this. Lucy saw Gemini back to their original form talking to an alarmed Jamie. Did that mean... water pooled her eyes as she looked at him, the resolve she had crumbled. Because everything was overloading.

"Natsu?" she whispered. It was a question. She couldn't quite believe it. He was there.

He hugged her again, burying his nose deeper into her soft locks and Lucy realised her cloak had fallen off in the fight. Natsu was quiet. Too quiet. What had she missed?

 **Ok, guys gonna be real with you I had a HUGE writers' block for this chapter. None of this was supposed to happen this early. But do not fear. Its all gonna be ok.**

 **Also, they are back! for now...**

 **THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH ME LIKE I AM SO SORRY!**

 **ALSO, THANK YOU FOR READING AND FOLLOWING!**


	9. Love that will make you forget

**I know right? It DIDN'T take months for me to write the new chapter.**

It didn't feel real. She was in his arms. Lucy was safe. He couldn't let go. Couldn't loosen his grip. Not for a second. Because she could leave again.

And everything felt so right. So calm. The world around them didn't matter anymore, all he knew was the smell of her hair was so soft and calming and hugging her made him feel safer and stronger than anyone else did.

She tried to move. He could feel her legs tense and arms loosen as she rose slightly. He tugged her down, not ready to talk yet. Not ready to do anything yet. He just wanted them to be in each other's arms.

"It's not over yet" he froze. Ready to face anything or anyone willing to harm Lucy. Suddenly listing into his surroundings Natsu began to hear a voice. A child's voice. Crying. Reluctantly Natsu let Lucy get up, giving himself a few seconds to recollect his composer.

" _Daddy_ " the kid cried, trying to shake one of Lucy's attackers. He looked over to see Lucy. Tears streamed down her face as she watched the scene before her unfold. The boy kept crying, shaking his father then he turned to Lucy. His eyes filled with desperation, "help" he begged, "Lucy _help_. I'm sorry for what I did, we can still be friends. Please help" Lucy cried more stumbling over to the boy.

Her eyes filled with regret and sympathy, "he'll be ok" she sat down next to Kibo bringing him into a tight hug. "You understand I didn't want to do this, Kibo?" she said softly stroking his head. Almost sick at the sound of her own voice.

He only sobbed more nodding his head, "Daddy didn't want to. I'm sure" Lucy stayed silent. Unknowing of what to say. How can you tell a child their parents are criminals?

She'd give him a choice.

"Kibo, do you want us to take you to fairy tail?" he shook his head. Mumbling that he wanted to stay where he was. "Ok well listen up, Kibo" she began softly, gaining his attention, "remember you always have a choice. It's never too late to change. And if you ever find yourself confused look at what you've done before and what you want to do. it'll all figure itself out eventually" he nodded but she could tell he didn't quite understand. Tightness filled her lungs. One day he would.

Natsu tapped her shoulder softly, not wanting to interrupt, "we gotta get these guys to this places jail" he gestured to the men around them, Jamie weakly poking a body with a rope in the other hand. Looks like Jamie would be the one looking after Kibo while they tied up the bandits.

* * *

They'd spent the rest of the day walking to the next town for Natsu's sake. Finally, they were in a hotel room. Nobody joked. Nobody sighed in relief. There was a lot to discuss. Jamie started off, knowing the pair had some more personal issues to discuss. "I'll go take a shower. You guys talk."

Lucy sent him a thankful look to which Jaime just waved her away. The conversation they would be having Lucy had wanted back when he first met her. It wasn't for him to hear.

The two stared at each other. Knowing they both needed to explain themselves but neither wanting to face the fight that would come.

Lucy was not stupid, god she knew Natsu had his reasons for leaving, she also knew it was probably because of losing Igneel. God, Lucy didn't _mind_ that Natsu had gon away for a year, she didn't mind that he needed to travel alone. But couldn't he have just said goodbye? That's all she had wanted, a goodbye. And that's why that year had been so much more lonely than it needed to be. Even with the guild splitting up if she had heard Natsu say that he wasn't going to be gone forever, or even if he was that one goodbye could have made it so much easier for her. She sighed, dropping her heavy backpack and slumping her shoulders, he really was a blunt idiot.

Lucy sat down on one of the beds. It creaked underneath her. "Its time we stopped avoiding important conversations" she began, trying to smile but her muscles forgetting how.

Natsu came to sit on the other side of the bed, legs crossed and arms folded, "Yeah. We should" he was mad but trying not to show it. Lucy wasn't sure what she preferred.

The tension in the air was thick. Neither knew where to begin. Neither _wanting_ to begin. Lucy bit the bullet "I'm sorry I just left like that," She began and Natsu opened his mouth to say something in return Lucy continued before he got the chance, "but, I really don't think you can complain about that"

He huffed "yeah, yeah. But that was different" he said. Lucy raised an eyebrow, letting him explain before she argued back how completely unfair of him that was, "because I went to keep you safe" sounded like bullshit her. But this was all about resolving issues so Lucy didn't exactly call him out on it.

"And how exactly did you do that?"

"Your magic is always being hunted, Luce" he grinned, pride filling him that his partner was wanted by so many. Lucy wasn't so sure that was something to be grinning about.

A second later his face went darker as the conversation began to slip into darker waters "I heard rumours. A celestial globe. Or something like that. You sacrifice a spirt welder who has at least one golden key. You use them to see into the future, the heavens. They'll be gifted god-like strength. But the celestial mage will…they would be drained from the toll it put on the body. Its supposed to be a myth but there were claimed that it was real" he was leaning in closer to her, voice getting lower, deadlier.

Lucy let her mouth hang open. God-like strength? Seeing the future? The heavens? Before she could deeper think into it Natsu continued "I was gonna get the guild to help but Gramps said to wait until tomorrow and I just couldn't. I didn't want to bring you because…well, I would basically be bringing you directly where they wanted" she didn't like this answer. Lucy had admittedly wanted it to be something selfish. To just...let go off. No more strings and to simply let herself forget. This was far more complicated. And she didn't like it.

"You should have told me," she muttered "I could have helped. I mean they seem to think they've found it or something" Even thinking about that filled Lucy's bones with dread. Peace could only last so long.

"The war gave criminals an opportunity to re-submerge," Natsu wouldn't meet her eyes. Ashamed of himself, "I wasn't there to stop them. I thought it was over for good" the guilt radiated off him, but there was nothing he could have done.

"It's alright Natsu. There was nothing else you could do…I mean telling me and Yukino would have probably been a better idea but what's done is done" all they could do now was heal before they collected new wounds.

"I was stupid. I should have thought it through more. I might as well have done nothing" Lucy placed her pale hand on his warm tanned one. Why did the heroes never feel like enough? although you could say the same about Lucy.

"That's not true! Natsu, although we can both agree you're an idiot," he gave her a look which she smiled innocently at, "you gave us time. If that had been happing while everything else had been going on…I dread to think how it would have turned out. Yeah, the way you did it was…terrible and I would have liked not to have felt that year. But its ok. We can work through it together this time"

He looked at Lucys hand over his. Her nails weren't painted the pretty colours she usually chose. Instead, they were a chipped pink. It may have been a small thing that Natsu truly had no interest in he knew Lucy liked to keep her nails in good condition. She found something satisfying about painting nails. Every now and then Lucy would paint his. Gray would tease him endlessly but the soft smile Lucy would have while delicately painting his nails was worth it.

He gulped, ready to face the music, "If I had known the guild was going to disband I would have never left you Lucy," his eyes pleaded forgiveness, "I really didn't know" Natsu's voice was shaky, trying not to crack with emotions. the pain he had put her though. Natsu didn't think it would ever go away. The one thing Lucy didn't want to be was alone and he'd let her be lonely twice.

"I know" was all she could say in response before Natsu pulled her into a tight hug, both having tears in their eyes, "I forgave you a long time ago, Natsu" and that was the truth. Lucy had just wanted a better reason than 'to train' now her heart didn't feel quite as heavy and a soft smile managed to make its way onto her face.

Natsu clung to her like she was glass. easily broken, "don't leave me again, Luce" he mumbled "I was so scared" Lucy went quit. Family was the most important thing to Natsu. They'd been through hell together and she'd left without a proper goodbye. The thing she'd been so upset for Natsu having done. Lucy wasn't the only one hurting.

"It was a stupid thing for me to do," Lucy admitted into his neck, knowing he could hear her clearly, "I shouldn't have left like that and I won't again"

"Alright then I forgive you" he replied sleepily, pulling Lucy to lay down with him and letting out a light yawn "we will 'ave to go back to save Happy"

Lucy nodded "he has Carla though, probably already forgotten us" she added with a sleepy smile.

"The traitor" soon they where both far too deep into sleep to notice Jamie enter the room. A soft smile on his face. That was the first time he had seen those two together. Head only ever heard them cry for each other. Now he was lucky enough to be on an adventure with them. Even if it was coming to an end.

* * *

It was late at night. Or early in the morning. Lucy didn't really know. All she knew was her and Natsu had fallen asleep after finally being honest with each other.

But that wasn't on her mind right now. Kibo was. Had she done the right thing? Lucy had thought about it before. When they took down criminals what families were they taking down? This time she had to see it face to face.

It all felt too tight. Everything was suffocating her and she needed some air.

Slowly and sneakily Lucy managed to untangle herself from Natsu's tight grip on her waist and escape to the balcony.

The stars were shining. The sky a deep inky blue that Lucy could get lost in, only to have the starts light her way.

Finally, fresh air met her lungs. And for a moment, she stopped thinking altogether. All that was there was the golden glitter sprinkled across the sky.

Then Kibo entered her mind again.

Kibo had been crying. She had done that.

His father was in jail. She had done that.

He was going to be raised in a place he may never feel he belonged. She had done that

And some stupid part of her wished they had managed to get her because then Kibo would still be with his father.

Warm arms wrapped themselves around her. Natsu. "Thought you'd run off again" he murmured into her hair and Lucy felt a pang of guilt for him. It was a bit suspicious for her to be gone in the middle of the night, "just thinking" she responded trying not to let her voice be dampened with her current mood

"What's wrong?" he asked instantly. Should have trusted Natsu to know when she was upset. You couldn't hide anything from that bloodhound.

Lucy sighed, "am I not allowed to think without there being a problem?" she teased. A beautiful, pretty smile was flashed at Natsu.

Fake. Fake and he knew it. "I can tell when you're sad, dumbie" he muttered. Leaning his chin on her head, he'd grown since they'd first met.

Lucy laughed. But it didn't improve the mood, the laugh too hollow. Empty, "sometimes I wonder if we are all that good" she stated, practically feeling Natsu pully a confused face she continued, "I mean today we ruined a little boys life" and her throat was too tight to speak anymore.

Natsu stayed silent for a while, Lucy didn't mind. It meant he was thinking over the answer instead of one that would just make her feel better.

"Lucy, his father was a bad man. He was going to take you and sell you off for money, and then you would have been…" she would have been killed with the celestial globe.

Lucy knew that was logical "but, Kibo was just a kid. And we left him without a father. I just. Kibo's world is going to change."

Natsu hugged her tighter, her stomach hurt from the pressure but Lucy didn't dare say anything. He made her feel safe. Natsu had lost Igneel as a child and as an adult, all hope of his old man being alive was shattered when he died in battle. It was tough without a parent. Lucy and Natsu knew It in different ways.

"Lucy, sometimes being the good guy means making decisions that although are painful are what's best. Kibo would have been worse of with his father. He could have been manipulated into doing things he would regret" Lucy knew Natsu. He was being a hypocrite. If he didn't like something then you'd be damned if he wouldn't change it, yet his words met something to her because in this instance Lucy was certain Natsu didn't want to separate a little boy from his father. Not while the child still thought of him as a good man.

"I'm sorry," Lucy said suddenly that Natsu made a consed face from above her head again " I'm being shellfish. This is tough on you as well" Natsu spun her around and hugged her into his chest then. Because Lucy's kindness really was the purest thing he had ever seen.

"It's ok luce. You aren't selfish" the thought of Lucy as selfish almost made him laugh. She'd sacrificed everything...

Lucy looked away, chewing on her bottom lip, "I wouldn't be so sure. Sometimes it feels like I only ever think of myself. I mean I left you because of how I felt and…" her voice trailed off, ashamed to admit past selfish acts. Letting them memories wash over her. She really was selfish.

Natsu was reminded that although they both had forgiven each other forgiving themselves was a harder task, "Luce, ya did what you thought was best. Yeah, you shouldn't have left like that. But I did too. In a way trying to make sure you were safe helped me heal over Igneel. I wrote a letter because I didn't think I could face you when saying goodbye... I don't think I would have been able to leave. So I was selfish too." he ducked down to meet her eyes, "You don't always have to do everything for everyone" the thought of lucy eating herself up hurt him. because it would take a long time for Lucy to forgive herself the way he had forgiven her and she him.

Lucy nodded, she didn't know what to say. This information was so new. So fresh to her. There where so many things she could say to express her emotions. So many words, so many ways buzzing through her mind. Lucy threw them all away, she knew what she needed to say, "I love you" it was loud but quit. Soft but firm. It could end in disaster but Lucy wanted to be more honest with him and herself. She needed to let it out.

Natsu spun her around she was facing him. Grabbing her shoulders and staring into her eyes, trying to detect any hint of humour. She stared into his eyes. Brown eyes meeting smaragdite ones. She could get lost in his emerald eyes.

"I love you more" and it was like fireworks had been set off in her stomach. Fizzing and popping and so, _so_ wonderful. His tearing grin that she was barely able to focus on, yet all she could focus on at the same time. God, this was how it was supposed to be.

This was the love that would make her forget.

 **SooooOo, they confessed! and the plot is moving on kiddos. I mean seems like they gonna have a little problem. Also, who misses Happy because I do. I can't wait for him to make an appearance but first, we got some shit to do.**

 **Also, I have school now and that pains me. I have a ton of gothic English literature to read and no interest in it.**

 **Thanks to everyone who favourited and followed.**

 **Please leave me some feedback.**


	10. could it be

**i had a long explanation** **to the lack of content but it deleted** **and im so tired dont make me write it out again.**

Lucy wiped the sweat off her brow and sighed. They had been training all morning, both having discovered they were too happy to sleep. Jamie would be up soon, hopefully, he would skip out on the workout. Lucy hadn't trained so intensely in a while.

She dodged a punch. Using her right leg to sweep Natsu off his feet while she crouched. He groaned.

"I win," she said cheerfully before putting her had out, offering him help to get up.

But Natsu had other ideas. Pulling on their intertwined hands Natsu dragged Lucy down next to him.

She let out a yelp of surprise as her body made contact with the grass, it was cold that early in the morning even when she was warm from her workout.

"I've been thinking" Natsu began beside her, eyes fixed on the pale blue sky. It was beautiful, only a few fluffy white clouds could be spotted.

When all Lucy could hear where the birds chirping Lucy nudged him, turning to face him again. His pink brows where nit closely together, eyes serious as he planned out his sentence, "the celestial mage hunters, how far will they go to get what they want?"

Lucy stayed silent for a moment, not wanting to say what plagued her mind but knowing she had to, "if what you say I true then as far as they can".

Natsu grunted, clearly not liking that answer, "Fairy Tail can go further" was all he said in response and Lucy allowed a small smile to take over her face. Fairy Tail would work it out. They always did.

Lucy didn't know how long they stayed there. Lost in their own thoughts but safe in each other's company, and frankly, she didn't care. Because for the first time in a long time, her heart didn't feel quite as hollow.

If only things could stay like that forever.

"Get up. We leave in an hour," it was Jamie, shouting up at them as he came closer. Natsu scowled and even Lucy couldn't help but feel slightly irritated at the interruption.

After a few seconds Natsu jumped up, stretching his tired muscles before looking back at Lucy, "you coming or will I 'ave to drag ya?" he teased. Reluctantly Lucy got up.

Her muscles were heavy from the earlier exercise, admittedly her training hadn't gone past the fights she'd encountered, so she really did need to get back into habits. Especially with the prospect of war. She shuddered. It was too early to be thinking about that.

"Breakfasts just started" Jamie informed them his thumb pointing at the hotel behind his shoulder, "though you'd wanna get there first since Natsu is an eating machine"

Natsu didn't bother to shout back instead made his way down to the hotel yelling 'food awaits' as if to pump himself up.

Jamie glanced at her watching Natsu go, "you guys good?" he asked softly, not entirely sure which way the conversation would go.

Glittering eyes met him, "better than ever" she replied.

By the time Jamie and Lucy had made there way down to the food hall Natsu had destroyed the buffet, downing what Lucy thought to be an omelette Natsu waved the pair over. "I saved you some!" Natsu said, directing a chicken leg, that had randomly appeared in his hand, to the food.

Lucy looked over at what she assumed to be cinnamon toast, bits of food from Natsu's masacure had fallen onto it. She'd pass on the breakfast.

Surprisingly, Jamie didn't seem to care, shaking it off his food and biting, Lucy nearly gagged, they both were disgusting.

With her chin in the palm of her had Lucy watched the pair eat, Jamie may have been more civilised then Natsu but he was the slowest eater in the world, he was like a snail, it was almost intriguing.

Her eyes began to flutter and her head felt heavy, she was tired, training, fighting, and crying were bound to kick her eventually. She'd shut her eyes for a minute, it wasn't like the boys would be done soon with Natsu's massive pile of food and Jamies snail-like abilities. Just a minute…

It was more than a minute.

Lucy woke on Natsu's back, jolting at the change.

"Relax, I've got you, weirdo" Nasu murmured, not even trying to glance over at her.

Lucy nodded letting her head rest on his arm when she finally realized what was going on, "its ok I can walk, I'm not tired anymore"

Natu raised an eyebrow at her sceptically, finally looking back at her, "if you fall asleep again you're paying for my lunch," even with his statement Natsu loosened his hold on Lucy and she jumped down. Patting herself off from dirt that didn't exist.

"Where are we and how long have we been walking," she questioned. In her mind, It was early, and early was not a time to be awake, no matter how many times she had done it.

"We left the hotel at around eight and it's now ten to nine, so roughly fifty minutes. And we are almost at a small village that could be a link to finding Aquarius, I heard there's a lake with waves, that sounds more than a little odd to me"

Hope filled Lucy, they would find her. Aquarius would be back at last. Lucy almost cried, there was no other possibility, what else could it be?

"I'm so happy? How did you find out"?

"I used to be a journalist and then I worked at an inn full of adventures. You pick things up"

She ran over and hugged him, any sluggishness she had gone, "Jamie I could kiss you right now!" she screamed hugging him again.

"But you won't!" Natsu called from behind her, a hint of jealousy in his voice. Dragonslayers.

Pushing that thought aside, Lucy was too happy to have her mood deflated, "you're right!" she called back giving Jamie one last rib breaking hug. "I'm so happy she squealed" intertwining her had with Natsu's.

The rest of the walk peaceful. The three talked over plans and joked eventually a calm silence settled over them, they would be walking for quite a while unless they wanted to camp.

"My legs are dying" Jamie cried from behind Natsu and Lucy. His breaths heavy and Lucy could see sweat stains. Nice.

The pair walked on in silence before Jamie dropped to his knees, "not to be a bother, but could we take a break"

He was smiling nervously, attempting to massage his legs. Lucy groaned, she desperately wanted to go to the village. "Horologium could you carry my friend Jamie for a while? He's not used to physical activity" Horologium merely nodded with a quick 'yes miss Lucy' and the walk continued.

Natsu wasn't happy with this reaction, "Luce I don't know If we'll make it before night," Natsu noted, looking at the sun fading, "we should set up camp now," she kept on walking "Luce, come on what's the rush?"

She froze at that, her whole body tense, "I gotta see her again. It has to be her Natsu. I don't mind you guys setting up camp, you can meet me there tomorrow" she sighed and continued walking, not even bothering to glance at Natsu from behind her.

Her lack of concern only made him angrier, "Like hell, I'm letting you go alone, Luce!" he said back, "I literally just found you, people are hunting celestial mages and you're on ever wizard magazine-"

"I can fend for myself" she interrupted, voice sharp.

"Of course you can, Luce. I wasn't saying that. I just, shit Luce was a team. We are supposed to do things together," his voice was hurt, they had just made up after their last fight, he couldn't let them break apart again.

Lucy must have realised it too. "I'm sorry, Natsu. Really" she turned around and began walking towards him, "I just miss her so much I forget common sense, it was selfish of me, and I apologise" Lucy bit her lip, awaiting his response.

He smiled, and set his rucksack down, getting out his tent, it would be a tight fit between the three of them. It wasn't like his tent back with fairy tail. This one was small. "Its ok, Luce. I get it," he'd done that to everyone. Going off without thinking of everyone else. Fueled by emotions.

She sighed, letting herself fall to the ground, ignoring the dust that would surely stick to her clothes when she got up, "god I need to get a grip," the stars were out and Lucy was sure Aquarius would be shaking her head at her. She was a disappointment.

"I think we all do," Natsu muttered, hammering down a tent peg, "Sometimes we do things we regret, the only thing we can do from them is learn,"

Lucy nodded, ignoring the fact she had seen Natsu make the same mistakes repeatedly, "you're very wise Dragneel, anyone ever tell you that?"

He smirked, "all the time, means more when you say it though" he leant over to her, pecking her cheek with a kiss.

The mood could change quickly, from angry tears to soft kisses. From a forest fire to a gentle stream. Both were wonderful, even when fighting Lucy would rather be at Natsu's side, even if she didn't admit it.

"I love you, Natsu," she whispered because it felt like something she should whisper. Like a secret between just them.

Natsu leaned towards her, faces so close his breath fanned against her face, "I love me too," he whispered back, grin brighter than the stars above them.

"You are an asshole," she laughed, punching him in the shoulder, which on caused him to grin more.

Natsu jumped back, laughing, "an asshole you love"

Lucy smiled, watching him laugh, "yeah"

 **I'M SO SORRY OMFGJDSHSLSIY**

 **yeah its been a while, maybe next chapter i'll tell y'all a li'l 'bout what i've been doin'**

 **ok sorry for how bad this chapter is, im tired and life got me good with too much work.**

 **if you could take the time to review** **and lift my mood i would be very** **grateful, might even respond who knows!**

 **sorry again for the quality, see you soon hopefully!**


	11. I'm quitting

**Hi everyone! I've decided to quit writing. not to be a dramatic piece of crap but it feels as if nobody is liking or even reading my fics. I don't get reviews and I don't see the point in continuing a fic that is not going to be read. I'm sure you all can understand, I wasn't getting nay feedback and that is very un-motivating.**


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